Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Death's Cold Grip

Shutters fly open in horror
Coffee and whipped cream-colored windows
Glazed over
Dully shining
Nevermore to reflect the light within
Chafing red marks of five guilty fingerprints
Molded, engraved on the once-sun-warmed pane.




Join the Discussion


This article has 12 comments. Post your own!

LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 24 at 1:12 pm:
Krasota! It's been a long time since we last spoke, eh? The title is really appealing to the reader's. It sets up open perspective for the reader and I like the mystery of trying to figure out what this will be about before I read it. Though it is only a few lines, that's all the lines the poem needed. You're really good at writing poems with few lines and being able to get everything and more across to the reader. Your descriptions are wicked. I enjoyed everything about this. Yo... (more »)
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 10:13 pm :
Thank you! :D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
mrsmusicforlifeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 24 at 11:19 am:
I LOVE the title and the descriptivness of it is amazing!!!! Your wording is beyond out of this world and I hope you never stop writing !!! 
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 10:13 pm :
Haha, thanks. Have a great day!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 15 at 1:44 pm:
The name of the poem is really good and attracts attention to itself. However, the coffee bit really did not work, I can see where you were going with it, but try using something more relevant to your theme i.e. paint.
It is simplistic and obvious due to the title, but still intriguing and a little creepy (and that is a positive thing) :)
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 15 at 8:04 pm :
Haha, thank you. I'll keep that in mind next time I'm on a coffee high XDDD
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
. said...
Jun. 11 at 8:47 pm:
I enjoyed your imagery of eyes as windows to the soul, and the way you tied it into the story. The only thing I wasn't sure about was the coffee and whipped cream, but I guess that is to add to the description. Great job!
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 13 at 4:41 pm :
Haha, yeah I was picturing the coffee as the iris and the whipped cream as the surrounding white of the eye. Really didn't go with the whole window analogy at all. I just happened to be drinking coffee at the time I was writing it, so I felt the desire to include that in the poem. Glad you liked it, though! :D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
ZeroDarkFlirtyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 11 at 6:19 pm:
I personally loved the use of imagery and description in this (something I struggle with) but given your new descriptions of the poem's metaphors, I now understand the work much better than I did five minutes ago. Overall, excellent job, and although this work was rather short in comparison to mine (which, so you know, is by no means a boast on my part) its length was more than fitting for the topic. Five stars to you, good sir! (or madam) :)
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 13 at 4:42 pm :
Thanks! It's madam :D Have a great day!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
WrenArringtonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 8 at 9:03 pm:
I definitely liked your word choice. "Dully shining" is a great oxymoron, and I really liked the "guilty fingerprints" personification. However, I felt that the poem was a little too vague--even after reading it over a few times, I couldn't figure out what it was about. Maybe you could add more clues as to what's going on, such as why there are fingerprings on the pane. I'd love to know what you were thinking when you wrote this, because it's definite... (more »)
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 9 at 6:23 pm :
Haha, this was more of a riddle. I left you clues to follow. This is actually quite a morbid poem if you think long and hard about it. "Shutters" being eyelids. "Windows" being eyes. The window pane being the person's neck. And the five guilty fingerprints? Evidence of strangulation. This whole thing is allegorical to a fault, unfortunately. :D Ah well, thank you for commenting!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback