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Betrayal

Betray me
Betray you
Leave me cause I not perfect,you know its true Break me down, but when your gone I'm good as new
Yet I always end up crawling back to you Singing me into false serenity like you know you do
Your voice haunts me when you say we are through We are both lost souls me and you We hurt people that is what we do
You act chivalrous... you're not, but neither am I. So, today I'm releasing a demon I've held inside. She aches and she yearns to make you pay and the good part inside me wanted to warn you it would happen today.
Let the blood spill like wasted hours. Rip apart your flesh, so your organs will be as exposed as your lies. Crack your bones so you may donate marrow to a hungry wolf. Mutilate the body like you do human hearts.
Betrayal is in the air...beware!



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Sonza said...
Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:21 pm:
nice...... though a bit dark
 
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KenzicoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 28, 2013 at 4:58 pm:
I really like it. love the line  "mutilate the body like you do human hearts' 
 
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Lustful_Temptation said...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 2:27 pm:
It's rather unique, but not as dark as it could have been. You have good thoughts; "Let the blood splill like wasted hours; rip apart your fless so your organs will be as exposed as your lies. Crack your bones so you may donate marrow to a hungry wolf. Mutilate the body like you do human hearts." This was the only sinister part of your poem. You're thoughts are great, but the structure of your poem could have been brought out differently, and I recoqnized some grammatical error... (more »)
 
Lustful_Temptation replied...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 2:35 pm :
wow... autocorrect was major on his comment; sorry for the errors
 
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FallenoutofgraceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:22 am:
You were right this is an evil poem you can alost feel yourself become darker after reading it, Your take on ths is elegant in a dark errie way its just great. Your going to go soo far splatter is't unfanmanoble, just don't ever stop writing becuase This, This who you are i cannot grasp fully how much an natural writer you are your gonig to go far splatter and  can't wait to read about you in the newspaper on how you are a author. Well done my friend :3
 
S.S.SplattersThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 7, 2013 at 11:26 am :
ty ...my english teachers think i am like the prodigy who will be famious for wrting one day...oh yeah it's awesome for a time but i turned goth after writing this stuff ...watch movies where they torture people till they die for inspiration.....its good in small incroments
 
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