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The Noodle

There's a noodle on my fork

It's just a noodle

But it's so much more than a noodle

If you think about it.


Maybe this noodle--

Yes, the very one on the third tine of my fork--

Maybe this noodle

Is made of wheat grown in China

And the harvester was broken

So the workers had to fix it

And maybe they couldn't

And this noodle is poisoned somehow.


And maybe the eggs

Used to create this pasty yellow tube

Were laid by a chicken

Whose rooster friend just broke up with her

She's depressed and the eggs are bad

And maybe I shouldn't eat this noodle after all.


Or maybe I should

Because maybe

At the noodle factory

Works a nice young guy whose job

Is in jeopardy

And if I don't eat this noodle

I will be boycotting the factory's product

And the nice young man will lose his job

Just because I didn't eat the noodle

And even if the noodle is bad

Won't it be worth it for the nice young man?


Maybe I should eat it

Because they say

Wheat noodles like this one are

Good for you

And I want to be healthy and

Live a long time

Maybe a hundred years or more

And if I don't eat this noodle

I'll die young

And my family won't be prepared for

My funeral expenses

And I'll be buried in the backyard

Like a dog bone

And my family will be deeply embarrassed and

Not tell anyone

And a hundred years from now

Someone will dig up my body and

Think what a strange civilization this was

So maybe I should eat the noodle...


On the other hand

I've heard that pasta is high in carbs

And they're terrible

Like the Black Death

And there are thirty-seven carbs in

The average serving of whole wheat pasta

I wonder if that's enough

To kill you

Probably not

But maybe I shouldn't risk it.


Of course, what if

I don't eat this noodle

And tomorrow someone breaks into my house

And steals all my food

So I have nothing to eat tomorrow?

It could happen.


What if I eat this noodle and

I love it so much I become

Addicted

And they won't allow me to eat any noodles

And I go into pasta withdrawal

And go into a coma

For a year

And when I wake up

It will be an apocalypse

And I will be the only human left

And I will have to fight for my own survival

That would be horrible!


But what if

I don't eat this noodle

And I go out on a date tomorrow

And my date asks me what I had for dinner last night

And I don't say noodles

Because I didn't eat this noodle

And my date is horrified

Because noodles are all he eats

This noodle could affect our relationship!


I think the noodle is laughing at me.

It doesn't have a mouth

But I think it's chuckling at

My wishy-washiness.

Yes.

I've made up my mind.

I know what I will do

About this chuckling noodle

I will no longer be indecisive

And weak

About eating

Or not eating

This piece of pasta on my fork.

Are you ready?

I am picking up my fork and lifting it to my mouth

But after all we've been through in the past few seconds

I feel an emotional connection to the noodle

I know now that

I will not eat the noodle.


Instead, I will give it to my dog.

Hey, I wonder

Is pasta good for dogs?



Join the Discussion

This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

DoctorbugThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 29, 2013 at 11:01 am
This was just tooooo hilarious! You're a genius!
 
Indigo.Knows replied...
May 29, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Thanks! Like I said, it's not very good poetry, but it's funny. My dad read it and he said, "This is both brilliant and terrible at the same time."
 
Matt said...
May 26, 2013 at 12:06 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is funny
 
Indigo.Knows replied...
May 29, 2013 at 9:53 pm
Thanks. Glad you like it!
 
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