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On Thinspiration

It makes me sad
When I see girls who post about their exercise
About how much fruit they ate
Or about how good it feels to be working so hard
As someone who has never had to try for that
It’s hard to understand
But it doesn’t feel right
To see things like “Repost if you feel fat right now”
With comments like “Every day” and “Going for a workout now!”
It’s depressing
I know it’s good to be healthy
And it’s good to like to exercise
And exercise releases endorphins, which makes people happy
But there’s something insincere in their happiness
Like they have to prove to someone – maybe themselves? –
That this is for the better, that they’re better now
They used to be so sad when their number was higher
When their gap was narrower
When their shapes were rounder
Coming from someone who is skeletal – and not by choice -
It’s hard to see the appeal
Of waking up and running
Or looking around for “good” food
Paying too much for what’s healthy
Only to not eat it anyway
At least, that’s what I imagine
They’re afraid to admit that it’s painful
They plaster on these cheerful appearances
Everything they’re doing
Or rather, everything they’re not,
Is worth it




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