If anybody read my other pieces (which is why I wrote this. READ THEM) you would know I'm a monkey. I got booted from the bahamas because my monkey wife had eaten a banana and I must get revenge. On the way, I met Emma Watson. She called animal control because she thought I was attacking her. I'm writing this in a safe house that I could not tell the location of. Quebec is full of nice people. I have a broken foot because the cops put a wire around it and I tripped while escaping. I ran all the way to the safe house and it was guarded by an ape. The ape demanded a fight in order to get into the safe house. I managed to trick him into beating himself up by telling him to. And I hope that– OH NO THE COPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Join us next time to see if monkey man escapes.