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Can You Save Me? This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

Stay still.
Do you hear that?
Leave me to my own devices,
my own unholy
whims.
If you take one more step
towards me,
it might mean the end for us both.
I cannot take this
tension,
this divine, unnatural
connection.
Don’t trust me, as I burn against you,
taught to hate you
and you I.
Stay still, do not your lips dare open,
and wait for my choice.
I do not know what I mean
by this,
is this rebellion or my initial calling?
Whatever it ends up being,
I know one thing,
that anything I do, any path I take,
is of darkness.
Unable to change, unable to see
anything more
and you know this as well as I,
so tell me,
can you save me still?




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SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 25 at 6:54 am:
This is so different from other stuff of yours I've read. So strikingly different... Still I guess I saw a new hue. A new shade. Beautifully writing as if artfully carved in. I love how you end with "Can you Still Save Me? " Though I wanted to ask...Why didn't you put "still" in the title??
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
yesterday at 7:35 pm :
I wanted the title to convey more hope than the actual poem. And thanks for your feedback!!
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 1:17 pm :
Oh...Thanks!
 
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IrenieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 18 at 8:07 pm:
Loved it! Glad you got an Editor's Choice because you deserved it! Beautiful imagery! I love your tone. You captured your emotions beautifully. Well done!
 
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. said...
May 17 at 7:57 pm:
This is very good, you are a really talented writer.
 
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KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 17 at 3:34 pm:
Yet again, your work is worthy of Editor's Choice! XD Great job with word choice! I like the line "Leave me to my own devices, my own unholy whims." :D Have a great day!
 
Pimp.QueenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 18 at 10:27 am :
Thanks for commenting on so many of my poems! At this point, could you leave the names of works you'd like critiqued? I feel like I owe ya bug time!! XD
 
KrasotaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 19 at 7:55 pm :
Lol you really don't owe me anything, I love reading your work! If you want to read some of my newest work, it's up to you; please don't feel obligated. ^_^ Anyways, have a great evening!
 
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KatsKThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 16 at 6:21 pm:
This is really good. Jade/Callie, I love how you told a story and really expressed the emotions. Good job, chica.
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 16 at 6:36 pm :
thanks!!!!!!!!! :D
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 16 at 5:22 pm:
So raw and emotional. Not like that perky Callie I know. But I love it for that reason. I feel the plea of anguish. "Can you save me still?" #tearjerker It's like Romeo and Juliet. When you say I've been taught to hate you and you I. My favorite line is "is this rebellion or my initial calling". Great poem! 
 
Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 16 at 6:00 pm :
thanks so much, girlie!! :D and most of my poems are like this....xept they usually get better at the end. there's still an element of hope here tho :D
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 16 at 6:26 pm :
I need to start reading more of your poetry then. 'Bout to get in trouble by my leader for not reading more. Haha. It is really good. Honestly. And yes, there's always hope. Where there's life, there's hope. AMEN, REV, CALLIE! ^u^
 
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