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4 a.m.

4 a.m. knows all my secrets
From the love I tried to give to you,
And the light you constantly denied…
Denied me like I was the wrong password
To the account of your heart…
But I kept typing my name expecting
That one of those times I’d get it right
And now I’m just wondering
I’m wondering how,
How did my name become a taboo,
The way it was summoned
Through his belly, given propulsion by bellows of his lungs
Teased into final form by his tongue and lips and
And left to fall unto the cold floor

4 a.m. knows all my secrets,
Seems to be the only one that listens these days when I scream his name
A name which used to send chills,
Into my soul… into my whole being
His voice was sort of an audible kiss,
A blurted confession
I needed
I wanted
I craved
I wish I could Navy Seal crawl my
Way into your dreams just to see
If I am still there… no such luck
I am yet another body to your
Growing body count, who knew...
I had hoped we’d become more
More than what they’d labeled us to be... unlikely
He made every waving sub-reality as true as the profanity-fuelled lifestyle
That I lead, he freed my mind
I needed him
I need him
He keeps my knees above breathing level,
Makes sleep as common as sheep, count seven days until I see him
He is the plug to every reservoir in my Kingdom
Profound wisdom a pitchfork glistening distant in the future so I use him again
And again

And again and again
I’m going insane, this can’t last forever
Check in for a day, like a lost child I hoped...
I hoped at some point you would find
My love useful but,
Untruthful intentions destroyed the connection we had spent years
Intertwining into the foundation of us, rebuking lust demons like the heathen I am
I’m sorry
I told you to trust me and once again I say I am sorry
They say third times the charm so
I’M SORRY
If this were a rendition the bass guitar
Would play the position of the pain he had caused me
A fire heads toward him, unarmed but for the tears…
So many tears, they trickle down
My face at the same even pace he had caused them to form
No matter how reformed he convinced me he had turned he still churned out
The same smog polluting his own mind into thinking he was fire
5 minutes from chime he looked dead in my eyes
And turned me completely stone from the inside out
The pleasure was his
Better think twice before choosing the next guy, scars never heal
He stole all my time



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