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Can't Breathe

ripped from my lungs,
there goes my breath.
torn from my body,
here lies my heart.
i cannot breathe,
i cannot beat.
without air to cleanse my soul
i feel boggy.
weighed down by the past
and bad decisions.
with every breath i breathe
i cleanse my soul,
with every breath i dont
i lose my goals.
without a beat to my heart
sweet blood doesnt rush.
to my cheeks to my hands,
to my rounded ears.
nothing has meaning,
and meaning means nothing.
for my heart cannot beat,
and my lungs not inhale.
im stuck with only
my body and entrails.
my breath and my beat,
my two driving forces.
without them as supports
what is the purpose?
i cant beat
i cant breathe
and i cant seem to care...



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Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 9, 2013 at 10:54 pm
Wow. I wish I had words to express how much I love this.........amazing!
 
AmorMoriturThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 9, 2013 at 11:08 pm
thanks so much!!! that really means a lot because this is my fav of mine so im glad that you like it too!!
 
_betweenthelines_ said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:07 pm
Nice work! :)
 
sassygurlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 20, 2013 at 12:24 am
thanks i appreciate it. 
 
LiraDaeris said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:35 pm
The ending is great, but it starts picking up about halfway through. Fix up the rhythm in the top half, and this will go from good to great :)
 
AmorMoriturThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:37 pm
ok thanks :)
 
WonderWisherThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:54 pm
Wow.I cant think of anything to say except....that was amazing I can't think of anything else to say!Keep writing,that was great!!!!
 
AmorMoriturThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:56 pm
thanks :) i try but im not sure if im that good. thanks for reassuring me that im decent :D
 
3MOsleeping-beautyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Um what were you saying about not being good??? You are soooooo good....just...amazing. I absolutely LOVE it!!! Good job bestie :)
 
AmorMoriturThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 8:16 pm
haha thank you :) i think this is one of my personal favorites. i think i right better when im mad or upset. happy poems just dont sound good :)
 
TheNamesBond.....JamesBondThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 8:41 pm
It's absolutely terrible. Keep up the good work, It's GOOD
 
AmorMoriturThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:02 pm
haha thanks :) i think...
 
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