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Quick Song

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I am going to sing you a song
but first you must hush and take it all in.
Here I go, shhh, I'm going to begin.

You talk about time and waste sweet youth.
But that's no more for I'll tell you the truth.
There is no secret to stop growing up fast, so I ask you a question-

Will you make it last?
The song is quite quick but the meaning is not
see if you waste time on things that need a long blot

You will find yourself years from now
wanting it all back and wondering how,
but by then you'll know that those aren't important because past is gone.

I have one more thing to advise:
Listen to my song and keep it in mind
for you never know when you and time will be intertwined.



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dragonsandthree said...
May 1, 2013 at 8:48 pm
This is great!
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 2:11 pm
I LOVE—<3—the ending. The message is clear and couldn't be any more true. Make life last while you can. Love it!
 
SoulPoetry said...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:46 pm
This poem is so clear and i love how catchy it is! It will stick with me for a long time. The line "Will you make it last" stuck me the most
 
Laugh-it-OutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 7:46 pm
Pretty! That's really nice love how the pic goes w/ it
 
StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 7:27 pm
This is very sweet. :) Aspects of it seemed a bit clunky to me (like the others mentioned with the last line of the third stanza), but I do not think that is too major of a problem. My favorite line is "The song is quite quick but the meaning is not". I think it really sums up the poem, plus, the alliteration is quite nice.
 
iAmanda said...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:43 pm
I love your second and third stanza, however the part where you add the "on things that need a long blot" does not seem to fit, but I understand the use of it. Your ending of the poem seems a little quick, try to add a tiny bit more? Overall I like this poem on how you connect music with time.  
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 7:01 pm
I really really like this except for one line: "See if you waste time on things that need a long blot." That kind of brought me out of the rhythm of your poem, cuz it was a little random :P but overall I enjoyed this!!
 
TheEpic95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:10 am
I felt line the final line should have been broken into two, but it didnt harm anything bein gthe way it was. I like the poem all throughout, though I did have trouble with "long blot"... i jst dont understand that phrase, im afraid. But it is a bautiful work. The second stanza was a very good one, with the beginning line really smooth and interest snatching. Great work!
 
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