Happy Unbirthday! | Teen Ink

Happy Unbirthday!

February 17, 2013
By theshadowofanobody GOLD, Belle Mead, New Jersey
theshadowofanobody GOLD, Belle Mead, New Jersey
19 articles 0 photos 6 comments

HaPpY UnBiRtHdAy, mY dEaR fRiEnD ;D
What a frabjous, delightful day it is!
For TODAY, you ARE to be
REBORN.
clink your cup of tea
WATCH THE ESSENCE OF YOUR SOUL SLOSH OUT
and stain the lovely, checkered tablecloth.
WHOOPSIES! CAREFUL THERE!
you want to hold onto it for as long as you can
YOUR PAST LIFE.
the afternoon bleeds out into forever as you sit there, wrapped snugly in your memories
FOREVER AND EVER
but the clock’s ticking, the dice are scattered in your palms, and you know you are to be
ERASED. INTO OBLIVION.
you pull out the list crammed into your pocket
IT STRETCHES ON UNTIL THE VERY LAST LAUGHING NIGHT
at the very top, scrawled in your blood
IT READS
am i complete? and there’s an empty box, waiting for you to check it
AM I COMPLETE? YOU THINK BUT IMMEDIATELY REGRET IT.
you don’t want to think because the truth is already etched into your skin
ETCHED WITH THE DRIPPING ACID
of your tears. because you realize the very futileness of it all.
THERE’S NO POINT.
this life, you chased after a loved one. One who you believed was your other half
YOUR OTHER HALF TO COMPLETE YOU
and this time, you found someone simply marvelous, who liked to trace the constellations on the back of your hands and clung to you, shrieking with laughter, on all the rollercoasters
ONLY IT KILLED YOU
because you knew that one day, your beloved would leave this world.
BUT YOU WOULDN’T.
You would only be reborn again, into a new life without any of your memories from this life.
ON THIS CURSED UNBIRTHDAY OF YOURS.
you’re not sure what you’re more afraid of
AFRAID?
of living and dying over and over again
or forgetting everything from each life.
THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE IS YOURSELF. AND NOT THAT, EVEN.
Because you are you this once. Different from all the other yous in your other lives
AND YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE ERASED INTO OBLIVION. AND YOU ARE SCARED. AND ALONE. BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU WILL MOVE ON.
you’ve lived and died so many times that you should be numb from all the centuries surging through your veins, the sands shifting across your fragile hourglass cheeks.
BUT YOU CAN’T BEAR TO LEAVE THIS LIFE OF YOURS, LIVE IT UNTIL IT TEARS YOU INTO SHREDS.
even though you must’ve seen it so many times, it takes your breath away to see the galaxies whirling around, painting the heavens with a beautiful glow.
NO. YOU MUSTN’T. YOU MUST’NT LINGER IN YOUR PAST. THAT WILL BRING YOU MORE PAIN.
you have to keep going.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
you’ve reached the point where you’d die just to live again
JUST TO FEEL
and with that, the clock jerks, its hour hand quivering at twelve, and the dice tumble downward.
YOU LEAVE, CRYING AND LAUGHING.
….
What is this?
You have no idea of who you are, what is happening, where you are. But you decide to investigate anyway.
There is a trembling cup of tea in your hands and the checkered tablecloth is stained.
There are dice sprawled across the ground, and a clock’s gears are whirring.
And there’s a card placed on the table.
You reach over to pick it up.
It says:
HaPpy BiRtHdAy, mY dEaR fRiEnD ;D
WhAt a FrAbJoUs, DeLiGhTfUl DaY It Is!
You don’t know why but you want to scream.


The author's comments:
The cat with nine lives perches on the window ledge, always gazing out. You wonder what it's looking for.

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