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Your Smile

The shine in your eyes
Gleaming in the sun
Filled with a smile rarely seen
Unknown to everyone
But to me
The moments spent together
Filled with fun
And laughter
Covers the air
A stroke of relief passes through
Your smile,
Removes all my worries
And atrocious thoughts
Only your happiness
And your smile
Matters most
Always keep smiling
Just for me



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MalaikaJThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 7 at 11:12 am
This was so cute! You did a perfect job with it, well done!
 
StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 9, 2013 at 6:22 pm
This is such a sweet poem about friendship. :) It had a very natural rhythm, and the rhyme scheme never came across as forced. Good work!
 
Literature_DarlingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 6:04 pm
Beautiful! Perfect line breaks, I loved the imagery! Wonderful job!
 
tellastory said...
Mar. 11, 2013 at 9:43 pm
Hello, me here! Amazing, A+ poem.  Suggestions would be to change the word "everyone" to "anyone", and change the words "filled" and "covers" to something more vivid/tangible.  Also, the word "atrocious" is broad.  In poetry (different from prose), the general rule is to use specific imagery.  (general rule, haha)  Could people please review my poem? I'm submitting it for a contest due in a few days!
 
SaphiraBrightscalesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 26, 2013 at 6:05 am
That was so sweetly beautiful! I love it...Amazing! Nothing I could suggest. Just gave me a wonderful feeling..
 
Anansesem This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 21, 2013 at 3:00 pm
This poem is filled with a good mood. I like the imagery, especially the 'shine in your eyes filled with a smile rarely seen'.
 
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