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No Words
February 10, 2013
I try to explain,
but I think of no words.
So I stand to the side,
and let you pass.
And every day,
I watch you laugh
and smile and socialize
with everyone except me.
I try to explain,
but I think of no words.
So I stand to the side,
and let you pass.
And when I hear your name,
my heart aches with pain.
You are the cure,
and I try to explain,
but I think of no words.
So I stand to the side,
and let you pass.
© Rebecca B., Marietta, GA
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This article has 3 comments.
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Mar. 25 2013 at 8:45 pm
Very good. It's simple and has a very broad subject, very relatable. The repititon gave it a sort of stregnth, I liked the lines "So I stand aside/and let you pass." I think that the way in which you chose to write it, especially with the short legnths of lines, helped to add a little feel of dispair to the words. I TRIED to comment earlier, but for some reason it didnt post, I only caught on just now. But I know I did rate it. I dont recall what I rated it then, but I will rate it again, 4/5. 4 isnt common from me, but the only reason, the ONLY REASON I didnt give you 5 is because it too memorable. It was done wonderfully, I loved the form, style, point veiw. But there are other poems on this subjectI relate to more. But it IS beautiful.
I think this is similar to the other poems I've read by you... But this is the one where it really all came together. You nailed it on this one! There was the repetitive ending to each stanza, the concept of a distant relationship, and waiting for him to notice you. Good job!
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“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest