Hail.

February 8, 2013
By theloverofbooks SILVER, Valley Stream, New York
theloverofbooks SILVER, Valley Stream, New York
9 articles 0 photos 9 comments

hail
pounding mercilessly against my shelter, my skin
penetrating windows, cars, items that should be shielding me
pulling apart my ability to function
hail
smacking wetly against my skin
stinging as it hits me
seeping into my gloves and jacket
hail
bringing me down with fanfare
blowing me in every which direction
boring into my ears with its insistent patter
hail
ceaselessly numbing my skin
chilling me to the bone
capably damaging the property that surrounds me

hail
hail is merely a state of water

hail
hail may leave its mark
hail may leave its scars
but I will not let hail control me

words
pounding mercilessly against my skull
penetrating the confidence that should be shielding me
pulling apart my ability to function
words
smacking my mind as they are spoken
stinging as they hit me
seeping beneath my skin and through my confidence
words
bringing me down with fanfare
blowing me in every which direction
boring into my ears with their insistent, rhythmic syllables
words
ceaselessly numbing my mind
chilling my resolve
capably damaging me, and those around me, and everyone

words
words are merely a state of letters

words
words may leave their mark
words may leave their scars
but I will not let words control me



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This article has 5 comments.


on Feb. 25 2013 at 3:28 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

This was very good. I liked the transition at the end - it was a good twist.

on Feb. 13 2013 at 7:44 pm
TheCapturedBat GOLD, Belen, New Mexico
12 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.
-- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

Very relatable. The transition between hail and words is very meaningful. The hail seems to have a lot of symbolic significance.

on Feb. 13 2013 at 11:03 am
SteelersJdog GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 29 comments
As "thatunknownthing" said, the comparison was very clever. I like the defiant tone as it relates to the structure of hail. You chose a perfect element to portray your story. Fantastic job!

on Feb. 13 2013 at 3:08 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

'merely a state of....' is also awesome! and the descriptions

on Feb. 13 2013 at 3:04 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

awesome! i loved the way you've written this thing, the structure's so unique! the 'hail' and 'word' comparisn is clever, but i can't relate to the last line of your poem. 4.5/5! :)


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