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Fooling Mask

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She cries
Every wink
Every grin
Every bit of laughter
Covers her pain
Her loss
Her every fiber
Shattered
From the world she hides her broken heart
Her broken dreams
Her broken fantasies
Of everlasting love
Happiness
Bliss
Peace
But no one can see
No one looks past her perfect face
Her beautiful eyes
Her long hair
They see perfection in human form
But behind the her opaque eyes
She screams into the darkness
She claws for the smallest scant of content
Her soul lies tired
Waiting
For something to give out
Waiting
For the pain to end
Waiting for the walls to collapse in
Waiting for her life to end
To find the last promise
Heaven




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This article has 15 comments. Post your own!

StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
today at 2:59 pm:
This is very emotionally powerful, however, parts of it feel a bit cliche. I wonder if a shorter poem would have been more effective for something like this. For instance, I'm not sure that you needed to elaborate quite so much on how broken the girl is. Reguardless, you were able to get your meaning across well and the poem is generally well written. Good work!
 
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OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 7 at 11:39 am:
I seriously have a challenge with typing. I prefer writing.
 
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WriteOrWrongThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 6 at 7:36 pm:
This was so amazing! First, I must say I love how unique the format is. The way the lines vary in length show a kind of emphasis at just the right moment. It sounds like you really know how to deliver certain parts that you want to be particularly striking. I only have two suggestions: 1 reread the line that says 'but behind the' and 2 I think the last line should have something more- that was the only part that felt awkward in the format of the poem. I love the idea behind the last line but jus... (more »)
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 7 at 9:34 am :
I forgot to add the puncuation.
 
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MissExplorationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 5 at 6:57 pm:
Estupendo! Excelente!
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 9 at 4:52 pm:
Magnifico. Simplemente mangnifico. Te had ganado cinco estrellas de parte de mi. 
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 9 at 4:53 pm :
has. oops, perdon por el equivoco.
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 10 at 2:39 pm :
No hay problema. I knew what you were trying to say.
 
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ILuvBritishBoysThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 6 at 9:33 am:
I really like the way you wrote and expressed so much in this poem! 5stars!  
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7 at 3:00 pm :
Thank you very much
 
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Apollo77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 5 at 8:13 pm:
I think this is written very well. the writing style is very nice and the thoughts are put out there in a way that is not confusing- a very impressive feat as more often than not the poetry I read on here is unorganized. I only must say the topic is unoriginal. the idea of hidden beauty or hiding behind beauty or trapped or whatever is, in my opinion, almost as overused as a topic a love. what does set your poem apart is the exceptional writing...great job really!
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7 at 2:58 pm :
The poem tells about a suicidal girl that has nothing left but no one seems to notice because all they can focus on is how nice she looks.
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7 at 2:59 pm :
And thank you for you comment it means alot to me that someone is actually paying attention to my work.  
 
Apollo77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7 at 10:29 pm :
that sounds depressing...but deeper. I do think it is a good poem and can appreciate that struggle definitely
 
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redhairCatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 25 at 3:30 pm:
This is so sad but I really liked it. You have a good style. Keep it up!
 
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