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Monster in Remission

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Challenged by fury, calmed by affection
Why do I feel this way I ask, to which I get the inevitable answer ‘I don’t know’
I'm loved by those who matter
But a selfish part of me says it's not enough
What more could I want?
Caressed by the one destined
A fire sparks from within
Tears a sign of weakness one which I can't withhold
They fall, teardrop by teardrop hardening the core
Stopping seems impossible leaving me empty, void to no emotion
Chipped edges of perfectness flow along with the hurt, falling to the pitiless pit
Consumed by growing rage something I have no control
Ready to burst it has no way
Trapped and enchained it waits
Enclosed in red and black it’s only amusement, to dwell on the hate

Stronger and fiercer it gets
Cutting deeper and profounder to the striking sterling wrath
It has come to a point where it sees only crimson
All sign of tranquil vanished and replaced
Must I too give in, to the monster waiting to be so openly embraced?
Forget to forgive and learn to hate?
For you see it lives inside of me
A reminder always of something I can choose to be
But I refuse to strip of every respectable title
The monster pushes and pulls reeling in everything I’ve felt

From love, something I vaguely remember

To anger, something that overwhelmed me more often than not

I have awakened it and I have to face my mistake

Wet lashes from tears I walk to face my fears

Shuddering in bones which soon won’t be mine if it decapitates my soul

Pissed and ready it comes charging

An internal battle wearing us both

Another tear rolls not from sadness but instead sympathy when I see it dying

A burden it was but company nonetheless

Who am I without it inside?

A lighter feeling now resides in its place

The chains gone and cleared, flowers bloom

Darkness evaporated and in came the doe

Is this what you call love? Giddy and heart skipping? I will never know

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