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Shallow

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When you look at me
Is all you see
A pretty face and
curved body?
When you look into my eyes?
Do you visualize the deepness of my soul?
Or do you plainly look into the color
That sits in them like chocolate gold?
Tell me.
Are you different from the others?
Do you look beyond the paint
And the drapes
To see something extraordinary in me?
I ask only because I don’t want
Something superficial of nature
Materialistic in type.
I want someone that wants me
For something greater than what’s
Between
My
Thighs.
When you touch my skin
What is that you feel?
Is it pure lust?
Overbearing love?
Or something deeper than your carnal will?
Can you give me a part of your essence
That effervesces
With every moment we share.
Something more than just
Your body
And desire?




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WeLiveForOurScarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
yesterday at 4:18 pm:
Absolutely perfect. That's all I have to say.
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 9 at 4:48 pm:
Girl, you got an AMEN! from me for this poem. 
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
yesterday at 2:44 pm :
i wrote this for a change of pace. I thought that my love poem s were beginning to become too cliche'
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
today at 2:07 pm :
No theme is ever too cliche. I happen to be a fan of your love poem. You have a niche for them; I think they're your forte. Well, that's just me. Although, this is great too.
 
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ILuvBritishBoysThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 6 at 9:37 am:
Wow I love how you just simply say what you need to say in your poems, you dont throw in loops and twists in the words to get people confused. I definitely liked this one! :)
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7 at 3:05 pm :
I hate poems like that. It frusrates me to no end how someone will take forever and a day to get a point across. If I feel this way why should I make others go through the same frustration? I am glad you appreciate my writing.
 
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redhairCatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 25 at 3:35 pm:
So hpnest - I think every guy should read this!  So true.
 
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flannyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 5 at 6:07 pm:
I kind of liked the bluntness of the poem, because it"s a blunt message. This poem truly reflects the superficial nature of humans...very well written :)
 
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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 4 at 10:04 am:
I really liked this poem. I think you could have added a little more mystery/poetic devices instead of simply stating the problem, but that's just me being picky. Great work:)
 
OldYoungOneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Feb. 4 at 2:43 pm :
I'm not necessarily a poetic device person if you look at most of my work. I like to blunt and literal because that is after all who I am. But I do appreciate the comment I will consider it the next time I write.
 
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