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She Says She Loves Me

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She says she loves me
and pulls me closer
She says she loves me
but wants to be left outside
she says she loves me
yet I turn my back and run as far away as i can
She says she loves me
and cries into my shoulder
But I don't deserve her love
I dont know how to love
She says she loves me
and i am silent
i let her return to her rabbit hole
where she loves the people who put their hands on her
where she loves the father who abuses her
where she finds comfort in the only normal
such a beaufitul person could find in a scarring world
because she can always give
and her love aspires to god
and only god could aspire to her
she says she loves me
and i have run from love
she says she loves me
and i dont why
i cant cry
when i need her to know
I want her all to myself
under my arms like a child
all to myself
yet she loves the woman who's beat her broken
who beat her scarred body
who starved her to the edge of death
till all she knows about comfort is the word: prison
till all she knows about love is to be struck down
till all she knows is that her body is not her own
that her body is her prison
she says she loves me
and i dont know love
i dont know how to love
someoe who deserves more than me
because this is the definiton of a woman
woman means owned
woman means always scared to come home
woman means a baby that never was because she starved herself
she killed herself till all that was left
was her ability to say
that she loves me
and im holding the one thing that makes me believe in god
because god cannot love his children
if she says she loves me
but wants me to aspire to hurting her
he says he loves her
she clings to me and says she loves me
and the only thing i can say is
: i know
and i leave her again
I don't save her again
I'm not the hero again
I turn my head again
just as everyone else in her life has
yet
she says she loves
i leave her completely alone
to defend herself against monsters and demons
but when they talk of love and death and demons and god
she is the only thing that comes to mind
yet i let myself become a role
i let myself become a symbol
her only symbol of real
she says she loves me
but i dont know about love
when it comes to her
she says she loves me




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