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I Asked

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I asked the professor to teach me chemistry
he said I didn’t have the brains.
I asked the coach to teach me the game
he said I didn’t have the name.
I asked the model to teach me to prance
she said I didn’t have the, at first glance.
I asked the Ballerina to teach me dance
she said I didn’t the stance.
I asked the man to teach me love
he said I didn’t have the romance.
So I asked someone to teach me something
and they said I didn’t have a chance.



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Confuzzled5This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 10:47 pm:
I love the sense of helplessness, but if it were me, I would add something at the end, something that portrayed a feeling of defience, where you showed you could do it. Just a suggestion though.
 
Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 27, 2012 at 12:23 am :
I think that you are suggesting a lore light ending, but the effect I was going for was basically hoplesness. 
 
Rolledthestone This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:43 pm :
I loved it. I don't think every poem should have some great ending because not every story is like those sports movies where they ALWAYS end up winning. Sometimes, you lose. Sometims, you lose at everything. That's life. Some people have to lose if others win.
 
Sparkle1popsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:30 am :
Thank you :) I didn't really want to go for that extravagent ending so I made it... simple. 
 
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