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Trapped in a white room
Big enough to encase me
But small enough to let me burn
Internally break and bend
With the ways of time
Staring at my own breathless body
On a bed with tubes forced in
Air forcefully pumped through my once
Very full lungs.
Everyday, to see my face and brush their
Tears away. I scream I cry
I look at myself and force myself
To remember, from the beginning to middle.
I don’t know the end yet, I don’t
Dare wonder what will happen if I think
That thought. I try to let go, fall back,
Take it in and release. But I am anchored
I cannot leave without saying what is to be
I cannot take my cemented foot off the ground
I am anchored to the thoughts of others
So I desperately break to the room
Right next to me.
I pound on the glass shield that hides my body
From my soul.
I think as far back as I can remember
The good and the bad. Remember the
Tears spilt and caught and saved.
Remember the words I wish to take back
And the words I wish were said.
Remember the poems written and the
Poems to be thought.
Remember friends, family, love.
And the flash. The thing that ends it all,
The pounding music in my ears,
My eyes forced forward as I crossed the road.
My right, my turn to go, but hit the brakes he
Didn’t. So slammed into my body, did a metal
Encasing of transportation and transformation.
To a white room, blinding lights and shouting
Voices: Stay with me they say look at the light
They didn’t know light was all I could see, it
Was only the dark they endorsed that truly saved
Me. The shadows that came and whispered to me-