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To my coach MAG
I've taken everything you never gave me
and I've made it into armor
that I wear beneath my skin
to protect the smiling
from what my gut knows is right.
And I promise with all my teeth:
I would break my knees
and splinter my pride
and pray at false altars
begging for a second chance,
if I thought I deserved one.
Please hate me the way only you can
– with pain all your own –
So I can crawl out of my skin
and live again,
like a disease
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