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Not as Strong as You Think

September 25, 2012
By schuy PLATINUM, Chatham, Virginia
More by this author
schuy PLATINUM, Chatham, Virginia
33 articles 4 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion." ~Rumi

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Fragile fingers
Fragile bones
Fragile memories
shattered by stones
Shards of glass
in the air
Fragile words
said by those who don't care
Fragile hope
Fragile dreams
Fragile relationships
that aren't as they seem
Fragile laughs
Fragile smiles
That all add up to a
fragile child

© Gary C., Pequannock, NJ

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2 comments.

schuy PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 3 2013 at 1:45 am
schuy PLATINUM, Chatham, Virginia
33 articles 4 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion." ~Rumi

View profile
The whole focus of the poem was on fragility. The "overuse" of the word fragile was purposeful andntoncreate an emphasis on the fact that broken promises and empty words can end up creating a broken, empty, "fragile" person. But thank you for your critique!!
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on Feb. 2 2013 at 5:04 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

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I think that you overused the word "fragile" even though it was purposeful. It wasn't as effective as you think. ... Sorry if this seems rude, I'm just trying to help:)