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Joy is Not an Easy Thing

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Joy is not an easy thing
To harbor in your heart.
When despondency comes naturally,
It’s difficult to start
To see things in a better light;
To know that people care.
It’s easier to be alone
And think nobody’s there.
I know this from experience.
It’s not hard to be sad.
Depression takes no effort
And it’s easy be to mad.
It’s tempting just to fall along
Into a cheerless course;
Alluring to recall the past
And wallow in remorse.
Talking badly to myself is,
I’m not proud to say,
A habit I engage in
Almost every single day.
I tell myself I’m dumb
And never do anything right.
My hair is gross; I’m way too shy;
My skin’s so pasty white.
No boy will ever love me
And I’m not a thoughtful friend.
I have to hide my feelings
So I smile and pretend
That everything’s okay with me.
If anyone should ask,
I’ll say, “I’m fine. I’m happy,”
So they can’t see through my mask.
But I’m tired of the coldness.
I don’t want to be a vault.
I blame others for my moods but
Deep down I know it’s my fault.
I used to feel contented,
So why this angry me?
When I look into the mirror
I’m not who I want to be.
I don’t want to be depressed;
My heart as frangible as lace.
I want to look and see a smile
On a bright and friendly face.
Joy, it takes some effort,
But I know it’s worth a try,
‘Cause I don’t want to be so angry.
I don’t have to scream and cry.
Positive emotions
Can work wonders for the soul.
Your thoughts control your feelings
And that’s why I have a goal
To be a little happier;
To cut myself some slack;
To grin and really mean it;
Give and not want something back.
I know it won’t be easy
To be happy every day,
But nobody is perfect
And I know that that’s okay.
To shed my armor, be myself,
Take off this awful mask;
To be a window, not a wall,
Is all I really ask.
I need to stop the criticism;
Need to stop the fear
Of being hurt by all the people
I hold near and dear.
So here I go. I’m starting now
To get back on my feet.
I’ll fill up all this empty space
Until I feel complete.
It’s okay to show emotion.
I don’t have to be so tough,
‘Cause I’m lovable and worth it
And I know that I’m enough.




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Alexandria-Eschate said...
Sept. 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm:
This was such a good poem, once I started reading I couldn't stop, I was so excited to get to the end. Keeping writing stunning, magnificent poems 
 
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