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It be so gay

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Come and play
Its such a nice day
We will run beneath the trees
Feel the ocean breeze
Come out side to play
We can be so gay
Across the fields we will go
and never shall we slow





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Alpha Camino said...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 6:00 am
It's a nice little poem, Fell Would i happen to be that friend? :P I can see Animalluvr4evr's point of view, But i also know that you have written poems just like the kind that he/she discribed. Sure, This isn't the best of your work but it's no less special to read. It's light hearted and paints a really happy scene ( I smile when i read it ) I look forward to reading more from you - Rawr -  
 
Alpha Camino said...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 5:50 am
It's a sweet little poem, Fell Would i happen to be that friend? :P I can see AnimalLuvr4evr's point of view, But i also know that you have written poems just like the kind that he/she discribed. Sure this isn't the best of your work, But it's no less special to read. It's light hearted and paints a really happy scene ( I smile when i read it ) I look forward to reading more from you - Rawr -
 
animalluvr4evr said...
Sept. 16, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Nice happy thoughts in this poem.  Made my mind roam off for a little while.  What I would recommend is that you use a bigger vocabulary.  Make the poem into something that people wanna think about, debate over.  Make it into a story.  Have a happy beginning, a tragic climax, then an even happier ending.  Make it something people would NOT have predicted from the title.  Just trying to be a constructive criticizer, trying to help you to become better.  Hop... (more »)
 
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