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Damned

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Gears lurch into motion in my head,
My tired mind yearns to wander;
Heartbeat quickens as memories surface.
And while I'm laying in my bed,
My neutral mood turns somber.

My cheeks grow a bit too warm,
My eyes turn glassy and blank.
I try to stop these painful visions,
But they've done just enough harm,
To make my broken heart ache.

By now, my exhausted mind slips
Into torturous 'what ifs', and
My eyes, like brittle dams, burst.
Wrenching sobs break my ribs,
And my heart, my heart is damned.

Over and over, every night,
My mind rebels against my being,
Breaking me; forbidding me from peaceful sleep.
I wake up every morning, tired of this fright,
And wonder if I should keep my heart beating.




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