The Blur

August 23, 2012
By Night_Shade203 SILVER, Barrington, New Hampshire
Night_Shade203 SILVER, Barrington, New Hampshire
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
~Ralph Waldo Emmerson


Like a snowfall in mid October
Your life began and now it's over
No more flakes float from the sky
I'm left without any tears to cry
I cried them all before you died

The phone call
Planted the seeds of worry
The hospital
Seemed unreal
Isolating the dead
And sick
From a world that hides its pain
Listening to memories
Of seminary grounds
Making jokes
About the hospital gowns
So nonchalant
I asked how you were
You gave me an answer
The results:
Pancreatic Cancer
There's nothing they could do
By your side
Through sleepless nights
Baggy eyes
Silent car rides
At home it was laundry
Laundry, laundry
Friends would call
To see
How we were doing
We were always doing
To numb the pain.
Sitting in the hospice
Biting my lips
In shock at your weakness
Stubborn face
You left that place
For days of fights
More sleepless nights
Desperate for freedom
From subjugation
Refusing
Your medication
I remember visiting
And listening
With a happy face
To your thin voice
Providing cheerful noise
Saying goodbye
My hair fell in your eye
I apologized
"Beautiful Hair"
I tried not to cry
Two feet of hair gone
And so were you
In the Hospice
You dreamed
I watched
I spoke
And answers never came
If your life was a game
Between Heaven and Hell
Only God can tell
The conversations you had
In those final days
It's not the mouth
But the soul that prays
It's Three AM
And I'm awake
I didn't know
You'd never wake again.

Like a snowfall in mid October
Your life began and now it's over
No more flakes float from the sky
I'm left without any tears to cry
I cried them all before you died


The author's comments:
This is an older piece, written in 2011 after my grandfather died of pancreatic cancer. This poem describes the month between the diagnosis and his death. If anyone else knows someone who was taken by this disease, you know how short that time seems. It's just a blur.

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