Wondering if I can go through life never confronting the cause of every bad choice,dream,thought and action I've made in my entire life. The weight of this secret is crushing me. I need to release but to who could I confess the dark deep secret I hide away? I need to let go. I need to be free. Its the last step to my healing proccess. Im sure if I could just get these last few tears out, im sure I"ll eventually be okay. But sitting here with memories of the past running around my head, I can feel myself going under. I dont want to return to that place in my head where everything is black and melancholy. Where I cant feel. I dont care. And everyday is just barren of all things joyful. How could I let myself keep this locked in for so long? I need someone to be strong for me and let me just once be vunerable break the dam and release this tide and pave my way to full recovery.
August 5, 2012