August 5, 2012
Wondering if I can go through life never confronting the cause of every bad choice,dream,thought and action I've made in my entire life. The weight of this secret is crushing me. I need to release but to who could I confess the dark deep secret I hide away? I need to let go. I need to be free. Its the last step to my healing proccess. Im sure if I could just get these last few tears out, im sure I"ll eventually be okay. But sitting here with memories of the past running around my head, I can feel myself going under. I dont want to return to that place in my head where everything is black and melancholy. Where I cant feel. I dont care. And everyday is just barren of all things joyful. How could I let myself keep this locked in for so long? I need someone to be strong for me and let me just once be vunerable break the dam and release this tide and pave my way to full recovery.

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