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The Shame You'll Never Feel

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I’d never hurt you. Words you promised now stab skewers through the most tender places in my heart. I dig my nails into the soft fleshy skin of my palm. “Excuse me.” Your voice calls to me completely detached. You side step my pathway. I let myself glimpse your face for a second it was enough. Warnings flashes through my mind “Look away! Don’t do this to yourself.” I ignore the voices. Look at me I commanded inside me head. You do and when I look into your eyes I see you are not shamed at all by the lies you have told me. A happy smile rests presently on your lips. Too bad justice can only hear our call for I am speechless. I am the one to look away. I am the one who feels YOUR shame! Shame that purely belongs to you not to me! But regardless I do feel shame. Shame that I believed you, shame that I loved you, but most of all shame…. That I still do love you. You who’s never had to worry whether people will see the hurt and tears you have desperately pushed behind your eyelids. You who have never had to wonder what other lied did she tell me because I would have NEVER lied to you. I have been told there are no rules in the game of love. You have proved this painfully true to me. Be happy, rejoice you have won. I rest my eyes on the ground.



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