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The Witness

You were there.
You walked away.
You didn't care.
You just wanted your space.

You left me in tears.
I realized
All of my fears.
To be taken by them.

Goodbye my love.
You witnessed my demise.
No longer dreaming of
the sparkle in your eyes.

Traitor,
You left me.
how it hurts me.
I thought you loved me.

Alone now,
you did nothing.
You know, for you
I felt something.

You stood there
witnessing
my flesh tear.
How could you?

Goodbye my love
you've witnessed all of the above
And done nothing.



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InkWriter13 said...
Jun. 22, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Great poem. Very vivid, especially the demise and tear parts. The rhyme was a good choice as well. Might consider clarifying your ideas/thoughts better. They don't really go anywhere or accomplish a purpose/message. Make it say something. More depth would definitely help. But, you have some really strong moments; I can tell you are a wonderful writer. Would you please comment on my poems titled Without the Writer, the Warmth of Life, and a Lost Dream?
 
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