The Girl Who Knew

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The drone and cackle of
the high school class
drifts
down
the hall.
Personalities, joys, hardships, fears
weave and mingle through
excited conversations until
one soul is indistinguishable
from another.

A pair of well-traveled moccasins
slips
through
the door
as the “ting! ting! ting!” of
the tardy bell sings
its sad song out over the chatter.
Papers and textbooks rustle
from the sleep-deprived fingers searching
always searching
for ever elusive homework sheets.
The ubiquitous question silently gnaws
at every mind
about the late arriver:
Who is she?
What do you call yourself, stranger?
Who is this girl?

Is she a skater?
a cheerleader?
does she like anime?
is she one of those who says she is a nonconformist …
(just like all the other nonconformists)?
Is she a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker?!?!
EXPLAIN YOURSELF, WOMAN!!! SO THAT WE MAY CLASSIFY YOU
AND LABEL YOU
AND FEEL SECURE IN KNOWING THAT
PEOPLE
ARE
NOT
COMPLICATED,
THAT WE MAY SUM UP THE WHOLE OF
A HUMAN SOUL IN ONE WORD!
TELL US!!!! TELL US!!!! WHO ARE YOU?!?!

and they wait
with the drool
dripping from the edges of their minds
to see what she will say.

what will she say?
she is silent.
and then.
a smile plays at the corners of her mouth.
and she speaks.
she speaks...

She says,
"’The Girl’ has played many roles
in her life...

Each an equal fallacy...

The school labeled her a Bully
when her parents were getting divorced.
She hit, scratched, raged, kicked
Just to hide the pain.

When they said she couldn't see her father
she chose the name of Skater.
(although she never learned to skate.)
Just to hide the pain.

She dubbed herself a Tomboy
and a Redneck
when her mother said
she had someone new to call dad.
Just to hide the pain.

When her sister attempted suicide
she became The Perfect Daughter,
a simple flower on the wall
Just to hide the pain.

But a girl can only be
so many people at once
Before
it becomes too much.

So she entered a depression
she crawled into her mind
and stayed there
and hid there
and clutched the
broken fragments of her life.

With that voice hissing in her ear
"You are too loud, too fat, too ugly,
too sensitive, too much work,
too! too! too!..."
it said
no one would ever love her,
that people would always leave.
and she soaked in all the lies
and hid deeper in herself.

But one day
a new voice
a comforting, strong voice
whispered
from a forgotten place in her heart
"My child,
this is not what I created you for,
To cower in fear and shame.
Let Me love you
and heal your hurt
and free you from this fear.
Trust Me,
let Me be the Father you long for.
My love is enough."

and slowly she opened
her clenched fists
and left
the white knuckled control.
she let go of
the broken pieces
and gave them
to God.

and that has made all the difference.

Now she is full of life
and the joy cannot help but leak
onto everything she touches.
She has peace
that makes no sense at all
considering
what she goes through.
She laughs and makes others laugh
and she does not fear what people think
because she knows she is beautiful
inside and out.
And she has
this unending
ability
to love.

And she knows
She knows how people feel
She can see the hurt
in their eyes
And read in between the lines
when they talk.
Because she has been there
and she has known
great pain
and overcome it.

She sees past
all the labels
and the false identities
that people hide behind
just to hide their pain.
Because she knows
and she has been there.

And so now you ask…
"Who is this girl?"
Well that is simple
she is Sable
and that is all.





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