I want to be free

May 16, 2012
By , commack, NY
Guilt
Remorse
Shame
Weakness
Failure
I swallow it all
Stuff my face with it
Hoping to gain happiness but only gaining weight
A voice screaming at me in the back of my head
My mind possessed by an all-consuming thought
I try to fight it but I am weak
It is my darkest and deepest regret and has prevented me
From living my life
I spend all day eating
Failing
I try to throw up, but I can’t
The food resting inside of me, a parasite, sucking up all my confidence
Self-Esteem
Pride
I just want them to stop taunting me
I want to stop taunting myself
My tears, thick, pouring down my face, its salt poison catching onto whatever I am eating
Sometimes I can’t even remember
What I ate
When
How much
I have been fighting
Fighting
Fighting
But I am just tired of this war between my body and me
And I want the voices to leave
I imagine the voices trapped in my head, trying to escape
Evil
Destructive
Parasitic
But then it leaves a tiny white orb of light
Soul
Freedom
Floating out of my brain through my ears
I want to be free
I want to be thin





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