An Unnamed Destination

May 10, 2012
I don't know how to start to explain myself or explain to you what I'm feeling.
I don't know how to say it let alone if I should say it
Because I know that the consequences will be bad, or maybe they won’t.
should I tell you over text, through the phone, or in a letter
Everything right now is so unclear.
What makes you so sure you'll even listen to a word I have to say?
I'm taking each step of this relationship day by day and honestly it's hard and has been such a roller coaster ride.
One moment I feel a strong connection and never wanting to leave your side
But then the next I'm wanting to cry and hurt myself
I build conclusions in my head and its tearing me apart from the inside slowly working its way to the outside.
I don't know why I have these uncontrollable emotions
Raged and immured in my broken heart.
I can't put a diagnoses on these long lasting mood swings
I don't know if it's just me or what but I wouldn't call this ordinary or typical
I still can't believe you can't see what I'm trying to tell you
Can't you tell by the way I speak, the way I act - that I'm not okay.
I have so much I want to tell you, to confide in you but I can't.
I’m so lost and I don’t know where I’ll be going, an unnamed destination.





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