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Apocalypse

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A soul floating
In the wind,
I heard the
Other night.
He whispered a
Forbidden secret
In my ear,
His voice full of fright.

“Listen carefully, child”
He said to me.
“The end
Has come.
The end
Has arrived.
While fighting
A fierce battle,
The Sun God
Has died.

“It all started
Nine centuries back
When the comradeship
Of two powerful kings
Fell slack.

“That instant,
The War of the Universe
Dawned,
Leaving the kingdoms
Heartbroken,
Leaving them torn.

“Now that,
Good has lost,
Evil shall gain;
Now that,
Son of God is gone,
The Dark Knight
Will reign.”

He paused here
And let out
A painful cry
While a tried
To gather my thoughts
With a tear in my eye.

“Listen carefully, child”
He said after a while.
“Destiny has
Been written
But the slate
Has been wiped clean.
There is nothing
More left to say
As time is faster
Than it seems.”




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This article has 10 comments. Post your own!

Apollo77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 9, 2012 at 9:51 pm:
I love the beginning, and the idea is really cool, but the end is choppy. The flow is broken in the last stanza and that really bothers me. Also, there are a few instanses of questionable rhyming...the story was confusing as well, but i think it was overall pretty sucessful!
 
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wordjunkie said...
Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:07 pm:
Hmmm. I agree it's a bit choppy. Sometimes you can play a little with format and line breaks and it's even better when it's not so uniform. I really like the content though, interesting idea there.
 
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Rhiannon16 said...
Jun. 12, 2012 at 10:30 am:
I really like this, the way it's written is a little bit choppy, but I suppose it works well with this poem. I like thei nagery, you got 5 stars from me!
 
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JoPepperThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 4, 2012 at 5:32 pm:
I really like your darker tone! Great job!
 
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Sairalinde_Lossehelin said...
May 27, 2012 at 2:09 pm:
Wow this is an amazing poem/story. Fantastic rhythym and flow. One of my favorites. 5/5 I love it!
 
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DaisyAngel said...
May 26, 2012 at 10:13 am:
I love poems that tell a story! This is great! Five stars!
 
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satellite23 said...
May 25, 2012 at 12:13 pm:

Very dark, but good nonetheless. I think I found a misprint in the poem:

"He paused here

And let out

A painful cry

While a (should be I) tried

..."

 
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Inksy said...
May 20, 2012 at 9:08 pm:
This is really different! In a good way, of course (: Most poems you see on teenink are just feelings and emotions, but you told an interesting story while keeping the flow of the poem excellent. The story is fascinating. Keep up the good work!
 
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Behind_a_Plastic_Smile said...
May 19, 2012 at 10:26 am:

this is a really cool story you got going on and i just loved the flow and meter- they were perfect

only thing wrong was that in the 6th stanza, 4th verse, "a" i'm guessing should be "i"

but thats like nothing! 

 
Josika.Nav replied...
May 20, 2012 at 3:44 am :
lol. you're right. i don't know how that got by me!!
 
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