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Who Will Be There?

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How can the world,
Be so blind,
To not even care,
To not be kind.

To only think of ourselves,
And leave others in the dust,
To let true love crumble,
And to only have lust.

There are no traditions,
There is no class,
There is no compassion,
There’s nothing that will last.

When you have more enemies,
Then you have friends,
Just ask yourself who will be there for you,
In the end?



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2Hearts1Dream said...
May 16, 2012 at 8:13 am
Don't be negative Lacer! This poem was amazing I loved it! Keep writing!  :D
 
M3156 said...
May 15, 2012 at 10:27 pm
nice. The only thing is, I think it chould be "than" in line 13 instead of "then" but the theme of the poem is great and the points are so true. I enjoyed reading it
 
Lacer said...
May 15, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Some of the rhyming scheme have a few syllables too many, but it has a great theme, and makes good points. Because this is a poem, it's emotionally felt and based on personal perspective, so it doesn't have to be well founded, but its just so dark, that by the end you kinda lose hope. On the second read though, you realize the poem is actually promoting relations, love, and the kindness it  is all missing based on the morals of the caliginous half of the moral chess bo... (more »)

 
Floyd7888 replied...
May 15, 2012 at 10:05 pm
Thank you so much! I love getting good feedback so I can write better poems. Would my mind reading some of my other poems and letting me know what to change? Thank you! 
 
Lacer said...
May 15, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Some of the rhyming scheme have a few syllables too many, but it has a great theme, and makes good points. Because this is a poem, it's emotionally felt and based on personal perspective, so it doesn't have to be well founded, but its just so dark, that by the end you kinda lose hope. On the second read though, you realize the poem is actually promoting relations, love, and the kindness it  is all missing based on the morals of the caliginous half of the moral chess bo... (more »)

 
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