Who Will Be There?

May 9, 2012
By Floyd7888 SILVER, Pleasant Grove, Utah
Floyd7888 SILVER, Pleasant Grove, Utah
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments

How can the world,
Be so blind,
To not even care,
To not be kind.

To only think of ourselves,
And leave others in the dust,
To let true love crumble,
And to only have lust.

There are no traditions,
There is no class,
There is no compassion,
There’s nothing that will last.

When you have more enemies,
Then you have friends,
Just ask yourself who will be there for you,
In the end?


The author's comments:
Sorry that it's scattered and all over the place, but I hope you still like it!

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This article has 5 comments.


on May. 16 2012 at 8:13 am
brokenroad GOLD, Scottsburg, Indiana
10 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life And if You'll Die Tomorrow. Dream As if You'll Live Forever.

Don't be negative Lacer! This poem was amazing I loved it! Keep writing!  :D

M3156 BRONZE said...
on May. 15 2012 at 10:27 pm
M3156 BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. -George F. Will

nice. The only thing is, I think it chould be "than" in line 13 instead of "then" but the theme of the poem is great and the points are so true. I enjoyed reading it

on May. 15 2012 at 10:05 pm
Floyd7888 SILVER, Pleasant Grove, Utah
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments
Thank you so much! I love getting good feedback so I can write better poems. Would my mind reading some of my other poems and letting me know what to change? Thank you! 

Lacer GOLD said...
on May. 15 2012 at 10:00 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

Some of the rhyming scheme have a few syllables too many, but it has a great theme, and makes good points. Because this is a poem, it's emotionally felt and based on personal perspective, so it doesn't have to be well founded, but its just so dark, that by the end you kinda lose hope. On the second read though, you realize the poem is actually promoting relations, love, and the kindness it  is all missing based on the morals of the caliginous half of the moral chess board.

I.E., it's good, minor improvement needed in rhyming scheme


Lacer GOLD said...
on May. 15 2012 at 10:00 pm
Lacer GOLD, Highland Village, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The thing about philosophy is that it often runs dry when thought of so shallowly.

Some of the rhyming scheme have a few syllables too many, but it has a great theme, and makes good points. Because this is a poem, it's emotionally felt and based on personal perspective, so it doesn't have to be well founded, but its just so dark, that by the end you kinda lose hope. On the second read though, you realize the poem is actually promoting relations, love, and the kindness it  is all missing based on the morals of the caliginous half of the moral chess board.

I.E., it's good, minor improvement needed in rhyming scheme





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