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Truth

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Snow swirled around my frozen mouth,
As I looked deep into the bland eyes
Of the man opposite me.
He looked somewhat like a walrus,
With large teeth, stubble
And an oversized body encased in a faded grey suit.

“You look like a walrus,” I blurted.
His eyes widened,
“I’d like to say I’m sorry, but I’m not, I can’t apologize for speaking the truth,”
Dang it,
That word vomit again.
I tried to swallow past that sticky clump of words,
But that only loosened them as they scaled up my throat,
And spilled down my front.
“I don’t know what to say.”
Wow, ever eloquent right?

“I’ve, uh, heard of your condition, I understand,”
He began.
“No you don’t,” I interjected.
Darn.
“Well…tell me about yourself.”
I looked up at his dull, brown eyes and I knew,
I knew even though I loathed this vile man,
I was paying to have a conversation with,
I would tell him all my darkest secrets,
Because I had no choice.

Deep breath in,
Deep breath out,
“I am Jane Smith,
I am 14 years old,
Born on May 4th, 1996,
I can only tell the truth.”

“I wanted to ask how you were but I knew
You would say you were good,
And then I would say I was good thank you very much,
Even though we were probably nothing near the word.”

“My life is boring and generic,
And even though I joke around,
I fell like life is slipping away,
Falling between my fingertips,
Like quicksilver or cosmic dust.”

“I’m insecure,
About the way I look,
Dress,
Act,
Sound,
I have very good hearing,
Because I spend so much time listening around corners,
Listening to the vicious hiss of whispers,
Prick apart every fiber of my being,
From my shoes,
To my hair.
I enjoy company,
But I prefer to be alone,
There’s no pressure to be somebody,
When all you can hide from is yourself.”

“I like to avoid my mother,
And the concept of family,
Is foreign to me.
I eat dinner in my room,
While the others laugh downstairs.”

“I write to have something to say,
Without people thinking that’s really what
Goes on in my mind.
I write about beautiful people,
Because I hope someday,
I will be as beautiful as they are,
Even though there’s no hope.”

I clamp my mouth shut,
No more wily words could slip out now,
I stared at this walrus man,
His dull eyes showed no emotion,
I had bared my soul to this man,
In the faded gray suit,
And all he did was
Stare.





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