April 3, 2012
More by this author
Seek for freedom
Want to be accepted
An extra hour of life
Blue time
Another world
Their world
The real world frozen
Theirs alive at The twenty-fifth hour

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The_Introspect_Ninja said...
Dec. 13, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Avoid using so many "the"s, it detracts. And because this is freeverse, you can state things as they are without confining yourself to the rules of grammar. But otherwise, good job and I enjoyed the overall emotion.
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