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My Man

I sit there: stagnant and focused
Desperately searching for something to say
Something so utterly interesting
That you'll have to love me
All the while I cling to every move you make
Every intake of breath
Every letter of every sentence
I try so very hard to look into your eyes
I make it 5 seconds
Then helplessly stare at the floor
You're simply too pretty
Too precious
Too wonderful
We're meant to be together
I've seen it in my dreams
I've watched all the signs
We need each other
You bring out the best in me
And I, you
Every feeling I have
Dissipates
As soon as you open your mouth
Replaced with pure Euphoria
70 minutes have passed
I've barely said a word
My eyes grow heavy and I sigh in contempt
For I've failed yet again
To take the initiative
To lay my cards on the table
To say...
...I love you
The bell rings
I watch you walk away
My Euphoria Evaporates
I'm left shriveled and disgusted
My blissful high has vanished
Like a hundred times before
And the withdrawal gets worse every time
And though I plot our conversation for tomorrow,
And everything is right,
And it's all planned so perfectly,
And everything will fall into place,
And I can't lose...
I know there's no use
I know you'll never change
I know it'll never happen
For I have no belief in myself
No faith in anything I do
And when tomorrow comes
I'll sit there: stagnant and focused
And every feeling I have for you
Will rot inside of me
Soak into my bones
Seep into my marrow
And I will be no more



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