She is Not Gone

Don’t look at me like that,
and judge me, with those awful black beads.
You know nothing of what I feel.
You think it unhealthy;
But there is more here
than what you can decipher.

Don’t tell me that she is gone,
and tell me that I am wrong,
and tell me I’m absurd,
and tell me I’m obsessed.
I won’t listen.
You’ve made your choice and I’ve made mine.

I tell you here and now, I’d give up everything
Just to hear her voice,
To see her vibrant face.
To hold her hands, folded beneath my own,
and feel the warmth of her fingertips.
Just to see those diamond eyes,
Pulse and Blink,
Squint and Widen.

It isn’t fair, that all I will ever know
Is that of imagination
and old photographs.
There is no color, no sound, no life in them.
How I have begged the Great King of Heaven
To send her back to me,
a line I know well I should not have crossed.

I’m so twisted up inside
and yet you still won’t relent.
You mock me
and my plea for absolution.
What sick game is this you play?
Why must you deny what I know to be true?
You think you can trick me into deceiving myself.

Well you listen here, and you listen well.
I have now begun to understand.
You are wrong!

She is not gone.

She is the yellow wind sweeping through my soul.
She is the light my eyes behold.

She is the sweet vibration of my heart string’s resonance.
She is the necessity of my insistence.

She is the shroud of my silhouette across the moon.
She is my radiant pearl among the dunes.

She is the one with the milk-white gleam.
She is the one I will hold in my dreams.

Hark! The black ink bleeds, do not deny me this subtlety.
She’s with me and I with She;
And that’s the way I want it to be.