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She is Not Gone

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Don’t look at me like that,
and judge me, with those awful black beads.
You know nothing of what I feel.
You think it unhealthy;
But there is more here
than what you can decipher.

Don’t tell me that she is gone,
and tell me that I am wrong,
and tell me I’m absurd,
and tell me I’m obsessed.
I won’t listen.
You’ve made your choice and I’ve made mine.

I tell you here and now, I’d give up everything
Just to hear her voice,
To see her vibrant face.
To hold her hands, folded beneath my own,
and feel the warmth of her fingertips.
Just to see those diamond eyes,
Pulse and Blink,
Squint and Widen.

It isn’t fair, that all I will ever know
Is that of imagination
and old photographs.
There is no color, no sound, no life in them.
How I have begged the Great King of Heaven
To send her back to me,
a line I know well I should not have crossed.

I’m so twisted up inside
and yet you still won’t relent.
You mock me
and my plea for absolution.
What sick game is this you play?
Why must you deny what I know to be true?
You think you can trick me into deceiving myself.

Well you listen here, and you listen well.
I have now begun to understand.
You are wrong!

She is not gone.

She is the yellow wind sweeping through my soul.
She is the light my eyes behold.

She is the sweet vibration of my heart string’s resonance.
She is the necessity of my insistence.

She is the shroud of my silhouette across the moon.
She is my radiant pearl among the dunes.

She is the one with the milk-white gleam.
She is the one I will hold in my dreams.

Hark! The black ink bleeds, do not deny me this subtlety.
She’s with me and I with She;
And that’s the way I want it to be.




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This article has 34 comments. Post your own!

BeanzoinalinThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 27 at 2:26 pm:
This is the best thing I have ever read and I could only hope to write this good some day.
 
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teeny-tiny said...
Apr. 2, 2012 at 6:14 pm:

i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 
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IamtheshyStargirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 30, 2012 at 2:09 pm:
Let's just say I agree with every other comment on here :D
 
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DreamsOfGoldThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 18, 2012 at 6:12 pm:
Nicky, Nicky, Nicky... How do you write this stuff? You make even the saddest come to life. All it needs is your touch, and bam! it's alive! Are you the person that created frenkinstein? Because you're scary me at how good you are at writing and... being you.
 
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UNserieswriter said...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 8:13 pm:

I agree with pennfreak. this poem came off a little bit too loftily. it does have a certain cliched air to it. is it about losing a mother? or maybe a significant (female) other? i can appreciate you're trying to use sophisticated language and syntax, but i think, overall, thats what ultimately took away from your poem.

 

 
NickyJ replied...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm :

Like I said to Pen, This is my least favorite poem of the 3 belonging to this collection. I won't say anything further about why.

It's an honest poem, and if it is dramatic anc cliche, then its only a correct reflection of my inner emotions. To understand it better, you have to read Part 1 and Part 2, seeing as this is Part 3. You DONT HAVE to, because each individual poem doesn't need the other to be meaningful, the three together just create a bigger picture that helps convey a deepe... (more »)

 
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Brinagirl2014 said...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 3:55 pm:
this is so good! i loved it! it really was the most amazing thing i've read in a while!
 
NickyJ replied...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm :
Haha thank you so much for the compliments! I really appreciate it. Nothing makes me happier than people reading my work and telling me that they liked it!
 
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PeNfReAk10 said...
Mar. 5, 2012 at 6:24 pm:
I do realize you have talent, but this specific poem didn't speak to me as much as the other ones. It was a little....DRAMATIC, but still the same in the preliminary of what I said. 
 
NickyJ replied...
Mar. 5, 2012 at 8:57 pm :
It's funny, most people favorite this one out of the three, and yet it is my least favorite. I mean, it is my poem, and I do like it, but it is the weakest among the other two. Perhaps it is dramatic, but thats not particularly why I don't like it. Personally, I thought it came off just a bit too cliche. But whatever.
 
PeNfReAk10 replied...
Mar. 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm :
Cool. I'm different. gotta love that.
 
NickyJ replied...
Mar. 14, 2012 at 9:25 pm :
No need to conform XD
 
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Leapdaybaby212 said...
Mar. 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm:
This is really good! you should check out some of my work when you get the chance :)
 
NickyJ replied...
Mar. 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm :
Thank You! I'll see what I can do ;)
 
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LoudDreamer said...
Mar. 3, 2012 at 5:37 pm:
This has so many levels, I'm not even sure you could have known about them all as you wrote it, but if you did, then props to you. It is awesome, one of the best free verse poems I have ever read. You moved very smoothly from stanza to stanza, not dwelling to long on any one point of the speaker's obsession. By the time I was done reading, I too wanted to cry out that the things I have lost arn't gone. Good Job. We really need to talk to TI about the rating system. 5/5 just dosen't cut it. ... (more »)
 
NickyJ replied...
Mar. 3, 2012 at 5:48 pm :
Thank you for the kind words! I don't think anyone will ever know all the layers of this poem, I know the ones consciously put into it, and the meaning I wanted to convey to the reader and to myself, is very personal. But the reader also must derive their own conclusions from the poem, and apply it to themselves to make the meaning personal to them.
 
TheEpic95 replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:58 pm :
I was just a bit ago trying to decide which really awesom poems I really wanted to re-read. Two came to mind: Sir Alfred Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott" and your "She Is Not Gone." I came to the conclusion that I like your's better. I still mean everything I said when I read this last year. Please, please, PLEASE keep writing! I was so dissapointed to see you didn't have anything new up!!!
 
NickyJ replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:32 am :
I randomly decided to check my email today, which i do rarely, and I was very surprised to find a reply to one of my poems on this site, as I have not been on here in almost a year, and pretty much gave up on it. I'm very touched that after an entire year, not only do you remember my amateur poem but were kind enough to come on here and say what you have.

I never expected anyone on this site would really remember anything they've read on here for very long, and the fact that... (more »)
 
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ShayNon said...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 2:15 pm:
I absolutely love the ending of this poem. Your declaration of her presence is so strong and you seem absolutely certain of your subject. I admire your poetry.
 
NickyJ replied...
Feb. 29, 2012 at 12:02 pm :
Thank you kindly. :)
 
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