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He's Too Far Gone

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He almost opened his eyes last week.
i don't understand it.
why would he hurt us like this?
didn't he see how much we struggled to help him?
no.
he's selfish.
he doesn't care anymore.
he never did.

he almost opened his eyes yesterday.
i just don't understand it.
why doesn't he care about us?
didn't he realize what was happening to him?
no.
he's too far gone.
he doesn't know what's happening now.
he never will.

he almost opened his eyes today. i want to understand it!
why can't he just come home?
didn't he want to come home?
no.
he was already too far gone.
he doesn't want to come back?
he never knew!

he will almost open his eyes tomorrow.
i still won't understand it...
why must it take so long for him to come back if he does?
doesn't he sense the wrongness?
NO.
he might one day.
he doesn't want to right now, but...
he will never go all the way down..
HE'LL COME BACK!




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This article has 2 comments. Post your own!

ArtemisiaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 14, 2012 at 1:24 pm:
I think you did a great job on this. You really got into character here; I felt like I was reading the thoughts of the narrator. I also like the almost-repitition; it gives the piece a nice sense of rhythm. Keep writing! :)
 
Falling.Up.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 17, 2012 at 12:00 pm :
thank you! yeah i tried to have a repetition of some sort, but it was still kind of jumbled. lol thanks for the comment!
 
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