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Birthday Candles

The three decker cake stood before me on the table
All thirteen candles lit and waiting,

The wax melting and fading,
And the base plunged into the goodness of vanilla icing

As the spotlight birthday song continued to be sung.
Once it’s over, the candles seem to get brighter,

Smiles seem to get wider,
And the balloons seem to get lighter

As I stare at the round, sugary cake.
I can feel everybody’s eyes on me,
Beckoning my wish to come and blow out the candles,

So that the mocking cake can be devoured.
I can’t think of my wish or how to put it in words;
I feel pressured with all the family’s and camera’s eyes

Poised on me with expectance.
The icing covered cake sweats on the table,

And within seconds I make up my mind
I take a deep breath and blow 12 flaming candles out

And on the 13th I whisper softly,
'I blew out my birthday candles

And wished for you.'



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EthanCalhoun said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm
really well written, i liked this poem alot
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:52 pm
thank you =) im glad when people like it :)
 
Katarinakitkat said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 10:10 am
This was really, really well written. It was easy to imagine yourself there, like aninvisible person watching the sceene unfold. As someone said above of below me (Not sure which) One of my favorite parts whas when you wrote about hte candles getting brighter and the balloons getting lighter, I've noticed the same thing always seems to happen and you captured that perfectly. My favorite line has to be the last one though, it summed the poem up beautifully, an extra sparkly ow to tie up the perfe... (more »)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm
aww, thank you soooo much, i really appreciate you taking the time to make a comment that long =) =)
 
Karr505 said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm
This was AMAZING!!
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm
thanks! :D
 
SilverSun said...
Jan. 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm
I really liked this. I thought it was cute, but also serious. It also had some humor in it that made it fun to read. Nice!
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm
thank you =)
 
meals100 said...
Jan. 23, 2012 at 6:28 pm
this. is. AMAZING.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm
lol thanks!
 
theviruz203 said...
Jan. 22, 2012 at 11:40 am
this poem is one of the best i have heard out of the five i have ever read this is the best one JaneCapelle
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm
aww! thanks =)
 
Simple_Minds said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm
Wow, I usually don't like poems but that was good.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 8:26 pm
:D thanks!
 
Shmelmo said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 6:46 pm
I really liked this!! Very cool perspective!! My favorite part was, 'So that mocking cake can be devoured. I can't think of my wish or how to put it in words' Could you please check out my poem, Once a Survivor, Forever a Fighter?
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 8:26 pm
Thank you! =) and sure! I'm going to right now! :)
 
snaomi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm
I like the majority of this poem - it keeps me in good suspense and has some interesting images. I think my favorite lines are the set "the candles seem to get brighter....the balloons..." because they build the suspense really well. The transition to "the mocking cake" seems a little sudden, but I don't know if that's a negative thing or not. It sort of works with the poem, just something to know. The second half of the poem loses a little of the impact, mostly because of lines "I feel pres... (more »)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm
Thank you :)....and this poem is supposed to be a sudden, unexpected, and surprising poem. It's dedicated to someone, and i wanted to surprise them with it, especially with the ending. What do you mean by "more original way"?
 
Bliss124 said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 10:01 pm
This really is amazing!! I can really relate and it all flows together really well :)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 21, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Thank you!
 
smichelle said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 7:33 pm
i love this, i feel like we are there with you at this party. I really did not see the end coming though, Maybe a few subtiles hints would've been a little betteer. But it's an amazing poem.
 
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