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Birthday Candles

The three decker cake stood before me on the table
All thirteen candles lit and waiting,

The wax melting and fading,
And the base plunged into the goodness of vanilla icing

As the spotlight birthday song continued to be sung.
Once it’s over, the candles seem to get brighter,

Smiles seem to get wider,
And the balloons seem to get lighter

As I stare at the round, sugary cake.
I can feel everybody’s eyes on me,
Beckoning my wish to come and blow out the candles,

So that the mocking cake can be devoured.
I can’t think of my wish or how to put it in words;
I feel pressured with all the family’s and camera’s eyes

Poised on me with expectance.
The icing covered cake sweats on the table,

And within seconds I make up my mind
I take a deep breath and blow 12 flaming candles out

And on the 13th I whisper softly,
'I blew out my birthday candles

And wished for you.'



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EmmettLaFave said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Awesome poem. Very unique, I've never read anything in this particular mood, and its very refreshing. Totally well done.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm
thanks! =)
 
OfMuchHappinessThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 9:42 pm
It was good, but I noticed that the word "seem" was slightly overused.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm
thanks for commenting! :)
 
tealbird said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm
This was beautiful. You did a wonderful job capturing emotion in your words.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:24 pm
thank you =)
 
lucybrown said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:31 pm
I loved the descriptions you used and the idea is great! This is a very sweet poem and I love the message that you get across. The ending was great also. I loved this. Great work:)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm
thanks! =)
 
rockmafia-611 said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm
i love it good job.keep on
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm
thank you!
 
JustinBieberGirl said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:21 pm
WOW, ahhhh-mazing! I don't think there was any better poem you could've written. This was one of the best poems I have EVER read! And I've read a lot! :)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm
Ohhh, thank you so much!! =) =) =)
 
Aaka131 said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:12 pm
This is great I love it:)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm
thank you =)
 
Ruthie_j said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Woww. :) Amazing ! #Cute
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm
thanks! :)
 
dunguen1 said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:49 pm
very nice, original, i like it check out my work
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:52 pm
thank you, and i will asap! =) i have to look at soo many peoples work lol...
 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 26, 2012 at 9:54 am
This was really, really good. I loved the imagery, it was like I was there. Great job!
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:52 pm
thanks so much!
 
EthanCalhoun said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm
really well written, i liked this poem alot
 
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