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Birthday Candles

The three decker cake stood before me on the table
All thirteen candles lit and waiting,

The wax melting and fading,
And the base plunged into the goodness of vanilla icing

As the spotlight birthday song continued to be sung.
Once it’s over, the candles seem to get brighter,

Smiles seem to get wider,
And the balloons seem to get lighter

As I stare at the round, sugary cake.
I can feel everybody’s eyes on me,
Beckoning my wish to come and blow out the candles,

So that the mocking cake can be devoured.
I can’t think of my wish or how to put it in words;
I feel pressured with all the family’s and camera’s eyes

Poised on me with expectance.
The icing covered cake sweats on the table,

And within seconds I make up my mind
I take a deep breath and blow 12 flaming candles out

And on the 13th I whisper softly,
'I blew out my birthday candles

And wished for you.'




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This article has 173 comments. Post your own!

alexiswillshine said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm:
I really like this! Can you rate and/or comment some of my work? thanks(: you are amazing! love this poem.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 1, 2012 at 5:54 pm :
thanks! :D and sure! i will asap =)
 
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camille_1441 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm:
Good imagery, the poem is sweet but I think since the poem was about wishing for someone it might have been good to describe what you were feeling about wishing for that person rather then describing the party although you described it beautifully.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:27 pm :
I wrote it that way because i wanted it to be a surprise at the end that i wished for someone. I actually showed it to that person, and so all the describing the party made it totally unexpected that i'd wish for them in the end. =) but thanks!
 
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EmmettLaFaveThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:23 pm:
Awesome poem. Very unique, I've never read anything in this particular mood, and its very refreshing. Totally well done.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm :
thanks! =)
 
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OfMuchHappiness said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 9:42 pm:
It was good, but I noticed that the word "seem" was slightly overused.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm :
thanks for commenting! :)
 
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tealbirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 5:28 pm:
This was beautiful. You did a wonderful job capturing emotion in your words.
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 3:24 pm :
thank you =)
 
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lucybrownThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:31 pm:
I loved the descriptions you used and the idea is great! This is a very sweet poem and I love the message that you get across. The ending was great also. I loved this. Great work:)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm :
thanks! =)
 
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rockmafia-611 said...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm:
i love it good job.keep on
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm :
thank you!
 
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JustinBieberGirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:21 pm:
WOW, ahhhh-mazing! I don't think there was any better poem you could've written. This was one of the best poems I have EVER read! And I've read a lot! :)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm :
Ohhh, thank you so much!! =) =) =)
 
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Aaka131 said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:12 pm:
This is great I love it:)
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm :
thank you =)
 
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Ruthie_j said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm:
Woww. :) Amazing ! #Cute
 
JaneCapelleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm :
thanks! :)
 
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dunguen1This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 27, 2012 at 6:49 pm:
very nice, original, i like it check out my work
 
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