Not So Whole

December 29, 2011
at first I tried to hold on
I thought you weren't really gone
when I caught your backwards glance
I thought, maybe, I had a chance

but after a time far too long
I discovered I was wrong
after the denial came the grief
once I was over the disbelief

I survived losing you
I can't imagine how I got through
but I felt the denial, the grief,
stages of reminiscence
the sadness of your absence
and I managed to scrape by

you had completed my soul
and made my heart whole
then took away the happiness
and filled me with emptiness

the dreams, now not so frequent
quit haunting me as they came and went
gone is the sorrow,
dull is the hurt
I don't feel those emotions anymore
I don't feel anything anymore

I am nothing, empty
come to terms that I am over you
I have no thing, no one
to live for

no sun for my world to revolve around
I have nothing to care about
my life is boring, uneventful
I see nothing through dull, unfocused eyes
with their blank stare facing straight forward
I am not so whole





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