Thank you so much for your feedback and advice (:

This is a really nice piece! The ballerina sounds a lot like an angel. One way I think you could make this a lot stronger is to take out the conjunctions and pronouns. This is how I would change it from the fifth line "She smiles and flies towards the sky, laughing and crying, singing and screaming proud to be alive suddenly her heart stops working her lungs stop breathing, her mind gives out but she doesn't fall she just keeps rising up and up until she is gone." That is just my opinion, my advice is to look at it, work on it, play around with it, put it away, and come back to it later and go through it again. Don't get my wrong, this is a really good poem, but looks weak compared to what it really could be.