65 roses

By , Fair Oaks, CA
Warm sunny day, me digging my toes into the sand,

You licking an ice cream cone.

Your voice waving in the warm summer wind,

Singing my favorite song.

As mom’s piano music drifted around us,

You promised me you would be okay.

Even as you coughed, and struggled for air you smiled.

I held onto that promise.

When I stepped into the unforgiving room clutching your teddy bear,

I saw the tubes tethering you; it broke my heart knowing I couldn’t help you.

Why, I asked, as we drew roses on your notebook.

All you said was, God has a plan.

Day after day, Hour after hour, I watched you.

You never lost the smile though,

Breathe after breathe, cherishing each one.

Handful of pills every day.

We lay hands over you,

Begging god for Mercy to save you.

Fear shakes through me, but you grasp my hand

And tell not to fear, but to trust.

These same 4 walls we look at,

The same old news we receive.

15 years old, and 3 Months to live.

I sit numb. My own brother May not live to get married.

As we sat on the beach,

A sudden thought came upon me,

This is the first time being here since you have gotten sick.

The waves crashed on the rocks, the clouds rolling, I sit back relaxed, actually thinking it may be okay now.

Back at the hosipital, we didn’t stay out for very long.

I see your thin chest rising with each breathe,

Your voice so thin.

Reality hits, I realized that God may take home another angel, It may not be now but it is soon.

I grasp your hand, never letting go.

Doctors are confused,

They don’t know the next step.

Nurses shake their head in grief.

You say you’re strong, that they are just underestimating you, but honestly you won’t tell people the pain.

I sat in my room today,

Looking at my walls pasted with memories.

Picture perfect memories, tears spilled.

I remember when we would sit out in the summer sun, breathing in the grassy smell.

I want to know, I need to know.

Why does this disease take so many?

I wish I could give you a day when you could breathe like me. Run, jump, dance.

Code blue. Those 2 words echo in my head.

Sadness stings my heart as another parents has lost there kid, Doctors are baffled.

The warm smell of Chicken nuggets came up from my plastic bags.

I saw Doctor Henery standing out your room,

Food splattered around me, tears flooding my eyes.

I can hear crying through the walls of your room, the hurt on the nurses faces.

Words can change a life. Breathe easy now, because now you breathe like me.

Words can change a life, 2 words changed mine.

Cystic Fibrosis.





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