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Heartbeat

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I lay my head on your chest,
And listen to your heart beat.
I love that I can trouble it,
Make it fast, make it panic.
I love that I can attack you
With sensations you have no plan of dodging.
But maybe, just maybe,
It is the other way around.



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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 3, 2013 at 2:47 pm
This is the true essence of love. It excites me to read this. Just beautiful. AND LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! 
 
TheCapturedBat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:12 am
amazing! everything about it is beautiful and insightful!
 
beautifulspiritThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 17, 2012 at 6:05 am
Your last two lines don't flow with the rest of the poem. The ending seems too abrupt---you vould expand the piece more for a greater effect.
 
IAmWhoIWantToBe replied...
Apr. 18, 2012 at 4:43 am
Thanks for the comment. But I don't actually have the guts to make longer poems. I'll try though :)
 
Josika.Nav said...
Apr. 12, 2012 at 1:25 am

hey!

i wholeheartedly agree with you! when you love someone, it is nice to have them love you back ! awesome poem. i love the flow. it is short , and sweet. it is so simple yet meaningful. thats what i like most about it. great work and keep writing !! XD !!

 
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