this feeling is so odd. i haven't experienced this in a long time. this feeling of bliss and interest. the last time this happened, it ruined me. i felt like i was on top of the world and just as soon as i got boosted up, i was torn down. i was forced into a downward spiral, my life was turned upside down. everyone i thought i had by my side,left. i felt alone and useless. i was ruined forever. its hard for me to truly love now. the one person i trusted with everything, crushed me like a little bug. all of my greatest fears came true. i have the toughest walls that could possibly be built, or so i thought. now that this crazy feeling is creeping back into my life,I'm more scared than ever. I've already put so much trust into this guy. you would think that by now i would have learned you cant trust anyone. sometimes facing your fears hurts you more than it helps you..
November 27, 2011