Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2181 comments.


on Oct. 6 2011 at 11:33 pm
Greenpaw BRONZE, Billerica, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 11 comments
Wow, this poem was magnificent. Check out my poem, please? I only have one so it shouldn't be too hard to find.

on Oct. 6 2011 at 7:43 pm
emilybwrites SILVER, Villa Hills, Kentucky
5 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
last night i lay in bed, looking up at the stars and i thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

i love this so much! please keep writing!! and everyone, please check out my poem "Forgotten Domain" and comment/rate thanksss:)

on Oct. 6 2011 at 7:01 pm
swimster16 SILVER, Dexter, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music.
~Billy Joel

I absolutely understand what you mean by this poem and the relationships on how parents are afraid to let their kids go, but it will have to happen.  Very good!!!

on Oct. 6 2011 at 11:21 am
Nicole.Jones SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
7 articles 4 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Move on to the future, don't look back. Just keep moving, see whats instored for you." Made it up myself....

I like this poem. It was creative and I got a good picture in my head while I was reading. Good job.

LifeisLife said...
on Oct. 5 2011 at 10:04 pm
LifeisLife, New York, New York
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."--Mark Twain

This is a very cute poem! You really created a scene in my head :)

B. said...
on Oct. 5 2011 at 9:29 pm
AWSOME i love this poem and it really ment something not of course my dad but mt mom in this case totally resembles this poem GOOD JOB!!! :)

on Oct. 4 2011 at 10:13 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
i loved this poem it really spoke to me your way better than i am but please check my stuff out

on Oct. 3 2011 at 7:58 pm
AristotlesApprentice, Moultrie, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments
i love the comment below. very humorous. but this a very serious poem as well. i think, now this is just from my point of view, that you are showing how the son thinks that his dad his holding him back (being unencouragable) but whenever he lets him go, the dad sees his success and therefore cheers him on saying he knew he could do it. At the end when he said he saw his father pull on a chain, this shows how still, even though the boy is free, someone is always going to be in control.

Sexxxxyyyy said...
on Oct. 3 2011 at 10:21 am
your dad seemed very controling!!

on Oct. 3 2011 at 10:15 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
plz check me out i wanna know if im as good as the people on here 

on Oct. 3 2011 at 10:14 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
really good please check me out

on Oct. 2 2011 at 10:58 am
Trixie.B.Rose GOLD, Boulder, Colorado
16 articles 11 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher

I was also wondering, how the bound was related in the poem, you explained it perfectly! :)

on Oct. 1 2011 at 8:38 pm
14hipkri PLATINUM, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
22 articles 10 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Is that when you get you're thinger off you're thinger?"-Eric Stopper

I love the imagery used in your poem, Very nicely writen, I also love how it has such a good rhythm and rhyme. :)

on Oct. 1 2011 at 12:23 pm
maraquette.koss SILVER, New City, New York
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments
I agree, especially the line about the birdie, it sounds childish

MsBrightside said...
on Sep. 30 2011 at 10:52 am
I totally agree. It had a strong, lead to it in the start. You have an image in you'r head of a child questioning the father, than it leads into something about a sky and a chain, (Which I do understand is connected in sorts of ways), I think if this person wants all of these lines included, it should become a story told in a poem, with more reasonings and new pictures, its like thoughing a bunch at me without explantion.

MsBrightside said...
on Sep. 30 2011 at 10:48 am
Honestly, the start of the poem was pretty good. I felt as if you were starting a story that would lead to a moral lesson, or stick with the title really. Though it seems as you read further and further, the poem digresses and you tried to hard. I think it needs some work, but it was a great start truly, keep up the good work!

.meadow. said...
on Sep. 29 2011 at 8:52 am
.meadow., Evanston, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Don't tell me the moon is shining. Show me the glint of light on broken glass.

I liked it but... the line "as i gazed at the birdie" seemed forced, like when i'm writing and i say, "oh, what rhymes with luck? duck." and the poem takes a weird new path.

Aiden PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 28 2011 at 5:51 pm
Aiden PLATINUM, Vicksburg, Michigan
22 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
i am me, that's all I'll ever be.

omg. im speechless. this is just beautiful. no words can do it justice.

on Sep. 25 2011 at 12:34 pm
bpjrobert SILVER, Wakefield, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Veni Vidi Vici"-Julius Caesar

 

I like it. Favorite Quote- "Then I knew that I was bound"


on Sep. 24 2011 at 2:53 pm
hearmyvoice BRONZE, Trumbull, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Its hard to get framed if you're not in the picture.

i like the story but some of the rhyming seemed forced. the overall theme was great though so good job