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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 1582 comments. Post your own!

sweetangel4life said...
yesterday at 4:47 pm:
sooo awesome and wonderfully written. wanna see more of your work
 
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ILuv2read101 said...
May 17 at 10:29 am:
i really love this poetry..i think you did a great job or more like awesome!
 
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crushed_veneerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 16 at 9:59 am:
THIS IS AMAZING I love this, says so much in so little.
 
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thatkiddronnie said...
May 15 at 9:26 am:
It says a lot, Amazing Job!
 
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IronandmeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 13 at 12:35 pm:
Great job! 
 
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MyBlissInChaos said...
May 13 at 12:43 am:
amazing, simply beautiful. :'D great job. keep writting!! :)
 
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maddyhatterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 10 at 6:39 pm:
still on top
 
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DaleTheWhaleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 10 at 9:21 am:
I thoroughly enjoy this poem. It has an original message and it has a great flow. However, I'm not really a fan of the birdie part, and I would suggest using proper grammer next time. Still, good job.
 
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woodley419PSNGamertag said...
May 3 at 2:25 pm:
This poem is really good. The thing I liked most about this poem is the rhyming. Another thing I liked in this poem is the stanzas because they are in the perfect order and place.
 
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**Melanie_K** said...
May 2 at 1:59 pm:
I Liked the consanace in the poem. I think it sounds better that way. I was a little confused at first, but as I read on I understood what the poem was saying and what you ment.
 
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RoseMadder95 said...
May 1 at 3:05 pm:
You are seriously talanted. I love how deep it is. It has a good flow to it, too. Keep writing!
 
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NeonGreenMoon said...
May 1 at 2:36 pm:
I really enjoyed this. your very talented, keep it up! :)
 
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Chubby Dawg said...
May 1 at 12:57 pm:
That was a great poem! I enjoyed it like it was a Wiz Khalifa concert!
 
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Chubby Dawg said...
May 1 at 12:54 pm:
It was a great poem. That poem was like being at a Wiz Khalifa concert. keep up the good stuff.
 
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T-Plush 2 said...
May 1 at 12:27 pm:
I really liked the poem. I think you could have made it better by maybe adding a simile or metaphor. Other than that I really liked it.
 
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SORECROR1234 said...
May 1 at 10:28 am:
The poem is very deep and it is very good. It is divided into stanzas and it also has pathetic fallacy. The poem probably would've been better if those last few lines weren't there. But I like the whole father and son idea. So overall this poem is a very good poem that could use maybe a few little changes.
 
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Bailey98 said...
May 1 at 7:48 am:

I really enjoyed this poem and the rhythm and rhyme of the poem really made it flow. The assonance in the poem also made it come more alive.

 
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taytaybergbower said...
Apr. 27 at 9:49 am:
very good. good detail
 
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DoraNguyen said...
Apr. 27 at 9:41 am:
This poem is very deep. But, I feel as though that the last lines didn't belong.
 
J1029This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 30 at 9:41 pm :
I agree with DoraNguyen.  I loved the poem, but I didn't get the full meaning of the last couple lines. 
 
wishingtheskywasbluerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 4 at 1:41 am :
i thought that the last line was the best!!!!
 
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XxsurrendertofatexX said...
Apr. 27 at 5:49 am:
i reallly liked it! i thought that the last couple of lines were where most of the meaning of the poem took place. great job! c:
 
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ElvenSecrets17 said...
Apr. 20 at 5:39 pm:
Very beautiful, I wish my poetry could sound as powerful as yours:)
 
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MysteriousWoundsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 20 at 12:46 am:
it started off really good...but the last stanza confused me. i feel like the last two lines didn't really belong there :/
 
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tdpackerfan said...
Apr. 18 at 1:44 pm:
"gazed at the birdie" . . . really? I think that this poem is highly overrated. I thought that the rhyme-scheme was desperate and half-hashed. The twist at the end was nice, but ultimately the reader has no way to trust the narrator. First of all, he disobeys his father directly by going into the water, so when the father finally holds him back, I feel like the father is saving the narrator instead of holding him back or restricting him. The title is interesting and paradoxical, but for goodness... (more »)
 
I.WhiteThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 2 at 8:31 pm :
yeah, i don't see why this poem is so famous...
 
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Lauren G. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 18 at 1:26 pm:
I really liked how you capitalized some words and not others. I could really visualize a picture in my mind when reading this poem. I also like how you show the relationship between father and son. Does the father symbolize all the things that hold him back?
 
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Lexilou96 said...
Apr. 12 at 1:13 pm:
Love this poem! :) its beautiful and I kind of wish there was more.
 
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NonStopClem.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 10 at 2:58 pm:
I genuinely love this poem, and have so much respect for you for being able to write it. I connect to it.. Also, I like how you played with the capitalization.  It's very e.e. cummings-esque. 
 
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Gildedlily123 said...
Apr. 8 at 10:05 am:
A probing look at the delicate relationship between parent and child; this poem has a surprising maturity that I enjoyed
 
sweetgirl70This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 9 at 1:42 pm :
yea kinda cool love the words that you used
 
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Clg1688 said...
Apr. 6 at 2:00 pm:

To my interpretation of this poem, it makes me think of parents over their children.

Love it!

 
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ReneeB said...
Apr. 4 at 1:47 pm:
I really love this poem. It easily paints a picture that the reader can visualize.
To me, this poem shows the smothering nature of parents, how they try to keep their children safe, despite how much their children want to get out and test the world on their own. Is this what you were going for?
 
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WhereAmIWithinMyself said...
Apr. 2 at 7:10 pm:

A great bildungsroman poem.

Also, if you want to help me answer the question "Where am I within myself - in my heart, my soul, or my mind?", check out my poetry pleasee. :)

 
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Banana said...
Apr. 2 at 12:04 pm:
Kachow!!!!
 
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Kristie1250 said...
Mar. 30 at 12:25 pm:
Wow.  That was really good.  Thank you for writing, and please keep doing so.
 
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dragonfly95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 30 at 12:21 pm:
i love it!this is so beautiful, it choked me up, check out my own work please!
 
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leshaye said...
Mar. 29 at 2:42 pm:
this is nice
 
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NooneknowsmeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 28 at 5:32 am:

Thank you for your comment!!

This is really fantastic!! 

Keep on reading my works, a new one which is waiting for approval is on the way!

Im sure you`ll like it

 
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Luv2WriteNO1This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 27 at 7:54 am:
This is amazing!
 
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MissShahThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 25 at 12:09 am:
oh really lovely! soo touchy... keep it up!=]
 
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c.c.haynesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 23 at 11:33 am:
Huh?                             
 
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c.c.haynesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 23 at 11:29 am:

Hey,

A friend told me about all the comments she read in response to my poem, one in particular scolded me for not reading and/or responding. My apologies; I was busy studying English as an undergrad at the College of Staten Island. Meant some awesome poets there, such as, Cate Marvin, Jeffery McDaniel, Joushua Beckman, Jericho Brown, Tyehimba Jess, Patricia Smith, Gregory Pardlo, Terrance Hayes,Thomas Sayers Ellis, and recently I got to hear Major Jackson. Please check these folk... (more »)

 
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avarose101 said...
Mar. 22 at 2:56 pm:

i loved it. I could picture the whole story in my mind

 

 
c.c.haynesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 23 at 11:49 am :
=)                                          
 
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USCG13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 22 at 1:39 pm:
Way to spe am the truth
 
c.c.haynesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 23 at 11:37 am :
Huh?                        
 
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SpreadUrWingzNFlyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 21 at 4:46 pm:
Totally beautiful and fearless and powerful, simply amazing, I would love if read a few of my poems and gave me sone constructive criticism
 
NickyJThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 21 at 7:15 pm :
This poem is over 4 years old on this site. The author no longer views this. He doesn't see any comments or respond to any comments.

Don't expect anything from him or this poem.
 
c.c.haynesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 23 at 11:36 am :
Here I am.                     
 
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