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Butterflies

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Thoughts flutter about my mind
Like butterflies.
I capture as many as I can
Within the fragile nets that compose my heart,
And my pencil
Translates their colors;
Their patterns;
Their grace;
Onto a piece of notebook paper.
The most beautiful ones
Always get away.



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so_joy said...
Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Wow! I love this! It's incredible! Fantastic job!!! Please read, rate, and comment on my poems! It would mean a lot:) Thanks!
 
Indilove said...
May 1, 2012 at 8:01 am

Proabably not the right word to use but i'm  going to say it anyway:

This poem is so cute! And I love it

haha great job!

 
Anastasia123 said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 3:42 pm
I absolutely adore this poem! I can tell you have a lot of talent! Keep writing!
 
raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Ahh yes! Writing about writing is a remarkable art isn't it? Usually the only thing I can think of!
 
raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 5:33 pm
True; not if they get away though! :) Thanks for your comments, everyone. I love receiving new feedback! :)
 
JuneTaz said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Perfect metaphor- and the last two lines are so true.
 
TheInnocentOne said...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Interesting metaphor But I think thoughts can be MADE into something beautiful too :)
 
WhittyKittyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 18, 2011 at 6:01 pm
This is beautiful and absolutely amazing! I love it! Would you check out my stuff???
 
Labradorian This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm
The figuritive language and double meaning helped to make this poem special but the last line was perfect.
 
raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Thank you Labradorian! Your comments are so helpful, I really appreciate it.
 
DreamyJess said...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 5:27 am
What a pretty poem!
 
raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 1, 2011 at 9:49 am

Thanks to everyone who commented. I really appreciate it.

Would LOVE some more feedback on this poem and my others! :)

 
brax34 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 3:32 pm
this is so very good, good job of interpreting your feelings
 
The_Blackest_RoseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 10:57 pm
It seems like today many people use butterflies almost synonymously with bright, happy, and hopeful. I like, though, how you've used them to mean something more down to earth and realistic: Something intriguing, beautiful, but difficult to catch and always just out of reach. It's a short poem, but very effective and packs a lot of wollop for a little package. And how true it is that the best ones always seem to get away. Keep writing! (You're good at it.)
 
OneofThemThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Do you know how many poems there are describing the writing process?  Zillions.  Do you know which one I felt was the most true?  This one.  Beautiful.  People often overuse and abuse butterflies in figurative language, but you made them work very well.
 
raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 9:46 am
Thank you! :)
 
Illuminatus replied...
Dec. 10, 2011 at 8:07 am
absoloutly stunning poetry .... i think you picturised the OPPORTUNIST nature of the world today perfectly !!!!!
 
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